We first met when I was a mere fresher. Young, hungry, and with very few pennies in my pocket, I was tired of the lack of affection Tesco, Morrisons and ASDA showed me, and wanted to meet someone a little more rustic. When I first set eyes on your juicy braeburns I was instantly wooed. Plump, juicy, the perfect size to fit in my hand, and eight for 50p; I knew I had met my Mr Right. You had that little extra oomph that I wanted.
You have so many of the essential characteristics that I appreciate in a man and encompass everything that I need in a relationship. You enjoy diversity just as much as I do – grocers, butchers, cheesemongers, haberdasheries, tea shops, you have the lot. You know exactly how to satisfy me - The French Oven, with your blissful beetroot loaf, Slice, with your immensive freshly-baked pizza portions that could occupy me for hours, Sausology, with your unique custom sausage offerings. You’re ever so charming and friendly, with all your smiley traders and their musical Geordie twangs. You’re adventurous and love trying new things – you even introduced me to the culinary delights of avocados, and I know this relationship is just going to be a rollercoaster of self-exploration together. You like to grab a bargain too – three punnets of strawberries for a pound is something I can never refuse, and as a result you’re irresistible to me.
How many hours have we spent together, as I wonder down your many aisles, browsing your fine array of products with eager anticipation? Alas, it seems like but seconds; time flies when I spend time with you.
What will the future hold for us, my love? Only more hours spent together, I hope. You can grace me with more half-price blueberries and I’ll bless you with more of my Student Finance; seems fair, does it not?
All my love,