It comes around once a year, and as it draws nearer, some people can barely contain their excitement. They revert to pubescent kids as they count down the days in anticipation. Then there are those who dread it. They think the whole thing is a farce. It’s the same old crap every year, nothing really changes, and if anything, it just gets worse. No, this isn’t Christmas, it’s Apple’s annual iOS updates.
When Tim Cook, Apple CEO, took to the stage in Silicone Valley this year to flaunt their new iOS software, he proudly declared that it was: “A day to remember”.
And indeed it was. Just like all the other days that iOS updates were rolled out. Yet the reason we remember them, is because they all made us want to gauge our eyes out with a rusty spoon. Take iOS 6 for example, which was so advanced it had the ability to make user’s Music libraries disappear in the blink of an eye, and even better, allow anyone to unlock your iPhone without a passcode.
Then there was the ridiculous battery problems with iOS5, the malicious apps tracking user details on iOS 7, and iOS8 being so utterly horrendous that Apple actually let users revert back to the old software.
Whilst the technology behemoth is renowned for its simple, beautiful and innovative designs, it’s also getting itself a notorious reputation for some very shoddy software. This year’s iOS11 update has followed this newfound tradition and made users repeatedly bang their head against a wall.
#ios11, six updates and a new iPhone 6s later: apps still hang, touchID and charging don’t play along, and the battery is a pumpkin. @AppleSupport, either fix this dumpster fire already or allow to downgrade to iOS 9.3.5, the last iOS that ran well (and looked good). #apple #fail
— Themetris (@Themetris) November 18, 2017
Problems began quite early on for some – as in, before they even got the update. After all the hullabaloo and hype over the launch many people couldn’t even get the damn thing to download. Then there were those who did manage to get it, but it bricked their phone, a bit like the iOS 9.3 update.
Everyone who were ‘lucky’ enough to download it, however, soon came to regret it. The new design layout was the first thing to be noticed. Of course, the jumbo-sized interface was hard to miss, but it was the the minor design flaws that really irked the fanatics; headings not aligned properly and search bars that didn’t match Apple’s own rigorous style guide.
For the rest of us, it was just the fact it completely screwed up our phones that pissed us off. As well the update causing it to overheat, to freeze, to suddenly fill up with storage, to stop 3D touch working, to stop the home button working, to keep changing your camera settings, to mess up all apps, etc, etc, there were a few more innovative glitches rolled out by Apple.
Is there any way to get your phone back to iOS 10 from iOS 11? Recently updated my friends phone and they are not enjoying it at all. #SendHelp #iOS11 #DisgruntledUser #TimHelpMe pic.twitter.com/FvUu1BUx7O
— James Karis (@JamesKaris) November 24, 2017
Possibly the best has to be the fact the phone would not let you type the letter ‘i’. Though this little vowel is detrimental to Apple’s marketing strategy, the new iOS 11 had a bizarre tendency to replace it with an ‘A’ followed by a question mark.
Then there’s the fact the new Control Centre won’t really let you turn WiFi or Bluetooth off. Not a glitch per se, more a ridiculous design flaw, but definitely still worth a mention. Why in heavens sake would you ever just want to disconnect from your WiFi connection but still leave it running, entirely pointlessly, in the background? Did Tim Cook’s parents never scold him for leaving a light on when he left a room?
Perhaps we just set the bar too high for Apple. Rolling out an update out every year, to the ridiculous number of phones they now have us tethered to, is a bit of a challenge. But for the amount of money we pay them, they need to sort their shit out.
Last modified: 24th November 2017