Gerard Butler is not a very good scientist. After realising the super satellite he helped build has been hacked to create global weather catåastrophes, he exclaims that his project has been turned into a gun. Lest we forget this NASA-owned Death Star stops natural disasters by firing missiles at the sky.
Inconsistencies like these should make Geostorm entertaining, instead of mildly inconveniencing you like a light sprinkle. For something that markets itself as the next 2012, we spend more time watching family feuds via pseudo-Skype conversations than any kind of tornados, tsunamis or heatwaves.
The most action we get in the first act is stock footage with exposition voiceover from Butler’s daughter explaining how global warming was solved with the creation of the humorously codenamed ‘Dutch Boy.’ Fast forward three years and Butler is reassigned to investigate foul play on the satellite after a town in Afghanistan is frozen solid, all whilst he and younger brother Jim Sturgess bicker for two thirds of the running time. Don’t worry though, the good ol’ USA doesn’t get any scratches until the final act – it awkwardly just happens to be Orlando.
In Dean Devlin’s directorial debut, he’s created cliched character arcs and mediocre CGI interwoven through brooding conversations of political espionage and overcomplicated tech lingo. The cast is trying their hardest, with the only bad performance coming from a poor British accent, but both dramatic and comedic elements fail to make an impact as the film takes precedent in convincing you of its seriousness. A somewhat impossible task considering it expects you to believe Leonidas built the space equivalent of a Nerf gun.
Not as atrocious as forecasts predicted, but not sunny either, Geostorm is a poorly timed release that leaves you uncomfortably damp in your seat.
Last modified: 31st October 2017