How to do Movember like a pro

For some it’s a blessing; for others, it’s a curse. To the humiliation and horror of every baby-faced male up and down the country, November is upon us and it's time to show off what you were blessed with in terms of facial décor.

Jerome Affleck
20th November 2017

For some it’s a blessing; for others, it’s a curse. To the humiliation and horror of every baby-faced male up and down the country, November is upon us and it's time to show off what you were blessed with in terms of facial décor.

Unless you live under a rock then you will know that ‘Movember’ is upon us. Normally the dead-giveaway is how that one lecturer is looking creepier than usual, and those few brave freshers are wondering around campus with approximately 5 hairs between them to shelter their upper lips from the brutal autumnal elements.

If you’re not quite sure what exactly Movember is, it is an annual event which encourages men to grow moustaches throughout the month of November to raise awareness of men’s issues. Some of you may say: ”what issues?“. Well, as the Movember Foundation put it, “Men experience worse longer-term health than women and die on average six years earlier. Prostate cancer rates will double in the next 15 years. Testicular cancer rates have already doubled in the last 50. Three quarters of suicides are men. Poor mental health leads to half a million men taking their own life every year. That’s one every minute”.

However, this isn’t an article about why you should get behind Movember- we all know how good a cause it is. This is an article on how to avoid any basic furry fashion faux-pas during Movember (and beyond, if it goes well enough).

Having facial hair and looking good whilst having facial hair are two very different things. Gone are the days where your glorified peach-fuzz could run rampant across your face; you’re an adult now, so learn how to take care of it.

Image: MaxPixel

Image: MaxPixel

Know what you’re dealing with

Patchy and thin facial hair is all too common among otherwise fresh-faced students and, unless you’ve somehow won the genetic lottery, this is probably what you will be dealing with. These types of beards will leave people wondering whether you will be asking them for change as they walk past; know your limitations and don’t be afraid to ask your (trusted) peers “Does my beard look like shit?”.

Tools

Let’s face it, no one can be arsed with wet shaving every morning, it’s probably the reason you have facial hair to begin with. Every budding lumberjack should have a beard-trimmer to keep whatever fluff you have at optimal length. Pair it with an electric razor to shape-up and you will be properly equipped to face the coming winter months in style. If you don’t already have these vital utensils, stick them on your Christmas list.

Maintenance

The most important part of having facial hair is taking care of it on a regular basis. It’s a daily battle with those errant hairs, which for some, when left unchecked will lead to your beard slowly creeping up to join your eyebrows- definitely not a good look. Make it part of your daily routine: get up, shower, brush your teeth and shave (or trim). Soon this will become second nature and a day won’t go by without your furry friend looking its best.

Follow these three basic tenets and you will be well on your way to join the legends in beard-Valhalla.

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