Have you ever met someone who you connected with on a deeper level? It’s insanely satisfying to realise you have many interests in common, conversations flow like rivers and you generally enjoy each other’s company.
But as it often goes, university is not the best time and place to form such strong unbreakable bonds. So what happens when you have to separate? The answer is an attempt of long-distance relationship. Further, I’ll cover the problems you could face when entering the long-distance phase of the relationship, the advantages of such an arrangement and give you some tips on how to get through the tough times.
First of all, there’re a few issues you could be dealing with, one of which is no physical contact for months on end. Which ultimately leads to the feeling of disconnection. If you don’t maintain the same level of interest in each other, the end result might be that seeing one another after separation can feel strange and uncomfortable.
However, there’s a silver lining to it as well. Most importantly, each partner in the relationship gets to grow on their own and reach a level of maturity required further in life. As long as they remember not to put their lives on hold. The distance also lets you test the strength of your feelings. To powerful connections, the distance will only become the fuel of love. And lastly, having your partner out of reach means you have more time for family and friends. They are just as important as your relationship.
As for the tips, I had to split them into three categories: communication, actions and consideration.
Communication: First and foremost: honesty and trust. No relationship exists without them. Be honest and don’t create reasons for suspicion. If both partners follow this, it will create mutual trust. Also, remember to remind your loved one of your feelings. As much as we think we make them known, sometimes verbal confirmation can go a long way to reassure your other half.
Always talk about any issues that are bothering you, bottling them up could lead to bigger complications. Remember to set some ground rules and be on the same page about your relationship. And don’t forget that sometimes talking about your day could be the best option, as your partner is not part of it and would love to know all about it.
Actions: Before the distance give each other a memento, one which will remind your loved one of you. As much as you cannot physically go on a date, you could still do activities together: simultaneously watch a movie or read the same book. If you want to be extra-romantic, try snail-mailing, it would most definitely warm their heart.
For some modern ideas, you could set yourselves video-call dates. To create anticipation and get excited about seeing each other again, set some goals and plans for your meeting. Bear in mind that over-planning can mean an underwhelming date. Additionally, you could also give each other cute nicknames and celebrate your big days together.
Consideration: Something to keep in mind are each other’s feelings. You should avoid hurting or upsetting your partner. Also, remember plan together-time into your schedules, rather than getting into a habit of talking at an inconvenient time. Make an effort to roughly remember your partner’s schedule too. Try to put in a little more effort as LDR’s can be pretty demanding. Invest your time and energy into making this work, but only if you know the dedication is mutual.
And have some faith! In yourself, in your partner and in your relationship. Stay positive about the situation. Be creative in terms of actions and gestures for each other. And keep on working on it…
Last modified: 18th November 2019