Reminder: Raise your standards!

Em Richardson tells you the importance of keeping your standards high.

editor
29th November 2020

Over the years, it seems like being described as having “high standards” has become an insult, in the world of dating. Think about it- we’ve all heard it said that someone won’t find a partner because they’re “too picky”, or that someone broke up with someone for “no real reason”.

Well… news flash! You don’t need to have a reason to “justify” a breakup. It’s perfectly acceptable to end something just because you’re unhappy… including in situations where others think you have no real reason to end the relationship! 

"There is nothing wrong with loving and respecting yourself, and knowing your own worth."

You might feel like you’re being too fussy but, ultimately, we all deserve happiness. There is nothing wrong with loving and respecting yourself, and knowing your own worth. Obviously, self-respect is a clear reason to end things with that person who always cancels plans at the last minute, or takes far too long to commit to deleting Tinder. However, we need to remember that it’s also a reason to end things with that person who just doesn’t make your heart sing anymore. Someone doesn’t have to be a walking red flag to use self-respect as an excuse for dumping them- when you really love yourself and feel that you truly deserve happiness, you’ll understand that anyone who doesn’t give you that has to go, however minor their offence. You’re not being fussy, you’re understanding that you deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel nothing less than content.

Aside from being encouraged to lower our standards and stay with someone because they’re “nice”, I also feel like society places a massive amount of pressure on us to “settle down” as soon as possible. Once we’re in a relationship, there can be pressure to stay in it, on the grounds that we might not find another. As a result, I feel like people sometimes settle for a partner who doesn’t meet their standards, out of fear of being alone. To this, I say two things… Firstly, there is nothing wrong with being single, and you can be perfectly happy on your own. In fact, it’s actually infinitely more pleasant than being in an unhappy relationship. Secondly, remember that there is no such thing as too old to start again. Whether you meet them at 21 or 51, remember that there is someone out there who is perfect for you. Don’t settle for someone else, and let that delay meeting someone who is actually right for you. 

Finally, I’d like to say that I don’t want to create the illusion that any relationship is perfect. Even the healthiest relationships have rough patches, and there will always be arguments. However, the best relationships revolve around great communication- talking through the issue, getting to the bottom of what caused it, and working on making sure it never arises again. Keep your standards high until you find someone who actively works through the argument with you, rather than someone who sulks for the next week. They’re out there, I promise! 

Image credit: @sasa_elebea on Instagram

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