Have you ever liked someone to the point where you didn’t want to put out straight away so you gave them the chase for an adequate amount of time and then gave into temptation? Did you build up that moment in your head to be a night of passionate love making? Were they shit? Did they disappoint you on all levels? Sit down and get comfortable for what is my unfortunately short story of what my friends now refer to as the ‘6 second wonder.’
“We had been non-stop flirting since summer when we had the Netflix but not the chill”
It was a typically boring Friday night (cause’ who goes out on a weekend, right?) when my phone lit up with a snapchat. It wasn’t the first of this type. We had been non-stop flirting since summer when we had the Netflix but not the chill. Since then we’d both been in a constant state of blue balls implying what could have been and what might happen in future and that night I decided I’d had enough. I wanted this gorgeous specimen to satisfy my every need and I wanted it there and then. Through clever use of lighting and angles I manipulated my front camera to show the goddess I secretly am (I know what you’re thinking but these were pretty innocent photographs) and eventually he suggested a movie night. KA-CHING! Without specifying a time he said he wouldn’t be long so I set about flapping around making sure my room was tidy and that I looked vaguely similar to the goddess in my snapchats. One hour later and I still hadn’t heard a word from him and I was seriously considering getting out my bullet and sorting myself out (which as you will see later in the story I should have done in the first place.) But I gave him the benefit of the doubt and another 30 minutes later I finally had a man in my bed. We went through the necessary process of putting a film on and settling down with absolutely no intention of watching it and before the opening credits had finished we were getting busy.
“Before the opening credits had finished we were getting busy”
At this point I was expecting him to take me in his arms, kiss every inch of my body and make me moan so loud my flatmates would feel the need to use earphones. However, the cruel reality was that we fumbled about for a few minutes with foreplay and then he was inside me and then it was over. As quick as it took you to read this article was how long the entire thing lasted and I have my suspicions it wasn’t even that long. There was the awkward ‘I’m sorry it’s been a while’ and then I did what no girl should ever do- I laughed.
“As quick as it took you to read this article was how long the entire thing lasted”
I felt awful but I couldn’t stop myself. The look on his face was soul destroying and I honestly thought he was going to cry but how can you not laugh when we had built it up for so long and then that was all you got? 6 seconds. Seriously? Yep. Let’s just say he left not long afterwards and at that point I couldn’t even be bothered finishing myself off. Needless to say, in future, if you want something doing right, do it yourself.
Last modified: 7th March 2016