Soul-sucking, stressful, depressing. Is what comes to mind when someone brings up my dissertation. Even writing the word now, makes my skin crawl. And I haven’t even handed mine in yet…
In the beginning I was optimistic about the dissertation. I’m doing a creative option; I get to write something personal to me and I have the freedom to have as much fun with it as I like! So, I get to the stage of coming up with my ideas, and I'm getting excited and inspired.
Then it gets to the writing part. Ten thousand words. Each word acting like that one two-faced friend that always ends up at the same parties as you, who does everything they can to sneakily insult and embarrass you. But you do it. You put pen to paper and create something mediocre and readable. It’s a win!
But this is where things take a dark turn… You’ve written a pretty decent chunk and you’re starting to feel confident in yourself. So, you book a meeting with you dissertation supervisor, get them to have a look and give some advice. For a minute you think you’re on Ru Paul’s Drag race and Ru has just said “The library is now open” because of the onslaught of catty insults to your work. After being read to filth for twenty minutes straight you’ll be ushered swiftly out- when you can run to the nearest toilets and cry.
have some tissues handy before you go to meet your dissertation supervisor, and have a friend waiting in the pub for you after the meeting's over
For anyone in their first or second years reading this, make a mental note: have some tissues handy before you go to meet your dissertation supervisor, and have a friend waiting in the pub for you after the meeting’s over.
After being made to feel like a complete failure and losing all motivation, you’re back to square one. So, you use the feedback they’ve given you- which ends up being useful in spite of its aggressive delivery- and you get back to it.
You find yourself at a stale mate: you don’t want to write, but the deadline still looms.
Time to step things up. So far, you’ve written a hundred words over two months and called it a win. But now you have three weeks until the deadline, and nine-thousand-nine-hundred words to write. “You got this!” You and your friends lie to yourselves, so you don’t all drop out and go on the piss.
Finally. You've done it. You have a first draft!
Finally. You’ve done it. You have a first draft! Well done you, we all seriously questioned whether you could do it!
Now it’s time to re-read, edit, get your friends to read it, begrudgingly meet with your tutor again. Editing: so painful, annoying and time-wasting that it reminds me of my ex. But once you’re done with it you feel sweet relief, you feel free again. And now that your mates have read your work too, and they’ve told you that you’re not a stupid knob after all, you feel a lot better about things.
So, you click submit. And now, you wait.