Like mother, like daughter: How exploring my neurodiversity repaired my relationship with my mother

I haven't always got on with my mother. There have been times we've not seen eye to eye at all. We've had huge fights and all through my teens we struggled to understand each other. Our relationship was strained and fueled on confusion and differences.

When I came to university I began to unpack who I really was and discovered my own neurodivergency, and how my Autism and ADHD affected my life. I soon realised my mother is more similar to me than I ever knew. She was also neurodivergent and it explained alot of the reasons why she behaved the way she did in certain situations. As resources and conversations around female neurodivergence have begun to change, more and more adult women are discovering differences they have to others around them, that they have had to learn to make do with their entire life. While unpacking my own brain and realising why I do things the way I do, I also learned my mothers mind. Our similarities and our differences. As I understood myself, I understood my mother.

I feel lucky that I have grown up in a time where girls and women are more accepted as neurodivergent and resources are now being shared, however my mother comes from a long line of women who have been defined as "crazy", as "odd", as "disorganised", as "emotional". How many neurodivergent women have been denied the support they deserve? Today not only am I proud to be my mothers daughter but I am proud of all the neurodivergent women from generations before me who have fought through life to get to where they are. I'm proud to have inherited my mothers bravery and strength, I'm proud to have inherited her passion, emotion and empathy, I'm proud to have inherited her wild ideas and creativity, and I'm proud to have inherited her boldness and her individuality.

I now understand my mother a lot better, as well as myself. I understand that everything she has ever done for me, has been out of an overwhelming amount of love. I’ve learnt to give her just as much grace as I give myself. Don't get me wrong we still argue and misunderstand each other at times but my mother is one of the strongest people I know, and I hope that as a generation we can create more opportunities and understanding for neurodivergent women and girls, young and old.