It’s certainly a tricky one, and it’s all dependent on circumstances. A relationship is a deeply emotional arrangement; you are connected in ways you aren’t to the other people in your life. Everything is shared, from deepest darkest secrets to duvets, to movies and music – or if you’re me, household chores. When considering that, it’s easy to see how the transition from this shared existence to two separate ones can be difficult, and for some couples it can be too much to cope with.
Every breakup requires a healing period, and that’s not so easy when you’re still hanging out with the person you’re healing from. Given a decent period of time apart, then it is possible for the necessary healing to occur – but then what about the memories? Or, even worse, if a new partner comes on to the scene?
A study published in Personal Relationships says that people stay friends with their exes for four reasons: security, practicality, civility and unresolved romantic desires. It goes without saying that the last one is a terrible idea, both for oneself and for your ex-partner. The other three? Again, all dependent on circumstance and maturity.
The definitive answer? As so often happens with these things, there simply is not one. Circumstance and maturity are what this all boils down to; if you have split up due to romantic incompatibility, then being friends can easily be possible. If you’ve split up due to some form of scandal, it’s recommended not to.