The friendship break-up: why losing a friend hurts more than losing a partner 

When platonic relationships run awry, who can we go to?

Miriam Nigrone
23rd October 2025
Image credit: Ursula Monro
When talking about breakups everyone always assumes that one is talking about a partner, but we all know that we have at least once broken up or gotten broken up with by our friend. And honestly this can happen due various reasons, whether it’s because they got in a relationship and have forgotten about you, a stupid fight over something stupid or even just growing apart. But why do these friendship break-ups hurt more than romantic love ones?

Well, I am a firm believer than friendships are the most important kind of relationship you can have, especially in your 20s. Our friends know us better and sometimes longer than a partner. They know you in ways others don’t, all the embarrassing nights out you've had, the deepest secrets, the fights with your mother, the horrible ways men or women have treated you, the traumatising first dates you have been on, your real laugh, funny sex stories. They know it all. And knowing that a person who you've shared all the sides of you with - even the ones you don’t want your partner to see - is gone from your life, is the hardest and most saddening thing one could endure.

When losing a partner, the first person you go to is a friend, but where do you go when you lose a friend?

When losing a partner, the first person you go to is a friend, but where do you go when you lose a friend? That is why it hurts more, when you lose a partner you have millions of ways to get over that gut-wrenching feeling, whether it is by going out and finding meaningless sex or going through tinder and finding a re-bound (that’s what we tell people who are going through a break-up “don’t worry there is someone out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved, for now just have fun and forget about them”) But when you lose a friend you can’t just get a part-time friend or a rebound friend, you are stuck with the feeling of being alone. And the worst part is that you can’t have a friend to talk about it with or get you through it. You must once again seek someone who is only interested in you, all sides of you. And that cannot be done through apps it has to be through actual human relationship.

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