What I once saw as my parents’ overbearing internet-policing, I can now recognise as a blessing in disguise. It limited the rabbit holes I could fall down before I was mature enough to understand them. But of course, this is a hard concept to empathise with as a 12-year-old who just wants to fit in with her friends. So, after months of relentless nagging, I eventually talked my way onto as many social media platforms as I possibly could.
...was just a way to fill the hours, not to gain anything tangible.
As an inherently quiet kid, I think the main draw of social media was the connection with others without the pressure of one-to-one social interaction. I could observe and absorb what I believed to be the ‘real world’. But my true relationship with social media became clear during the COVID-19 lockdown, when I first downloaded TikTok.
To be perfectly honest, I think I spent about 90% of lockdown scrolling endlessly through those short clips, letting time pass me by. It didn’t even occur to me that, at the end of each day, I could barely recall any of the content I’d consumed - it was just a way to fill the hours, not to gain anything tangible.
Looking back, I can see just how different my relationship with social media was. I was always up-to-date on whatever pointless drama was happening. I was taught, far too young, about damaging ideas on body image, and that I had to look and act a certain way to be considered attractive or likeable. And these were things I really took to heart. I found myself shaping myself based on what I saw online, not who I authentically was. While I don’t feel these pressures as unrelentingly anymore, I’d be lying if I said it’s something I’ve entirely left in the past. It’s taken me a long time to learn about my true self, rather functioning based on how others might perceive me.
The real issue is that it’s never just one or two videos that encourage this behaviour, it’s a never-ending stream. One wrong search, or one too many likes, and the algorithm will flood your FYP with more of the same, feeding into bad habits or unhealthy information. A recent study even found that TikTok funnels minors - who are listed as young as 13 - into endless spools of content about sex and drugs. It also revealed that consistent engagement with this sort of content pushed young users into even more extreme, highly damaging content in just a matter of days…
I hold the power in how I choose to use it, not the algorithm...
Now, as a 22-year-old woman, I’m far more cautious with social media. I’ve learnt to think twice before accepting the latest ‘healthy’ diet trend, or blindly trusting life advice. Honestly, my main draw to social media now is to find light-hearted content - the occasional dog video or maybe an edit or two!
Even then, my relationship with social media is far from perfect. I still use it to detach from stress, and admittedly, I still sometimes turn to it for advice. But, for many people younger than me, social media has and will continue to dominate their childhood in a much more harmful way.
That being said, these platforms do have their place. I’m a firm believer in the importance of citizen journalism - something social media has enabled on a global scale. I wouldn’t know half of what I do about international politics without the opinions and experiences shared by people around the world.
In many ways, a childhood spent with social media has forced me to grow up faster - many of our generation have first-hand experience with issues young children should never be exposed to. But this has taught me to be far more intentional online - I hold the power in how I choose to use it, not the algorithm. So while I’m sure I still have a long way to go before I can consider myself truly pleased with my relationship with social media, I’m learning to meet it where I am, not where it tells me to be.