Self Pour Guinness comes to Spy Bar

There is much pretentiousness that surrounds the preparation and consumption of alcoholic beverages. From the finest Parisian hotel to the local village pub, drinkers around the world care passionately about the state of their booze. The humble pint of Guinness is not immune from such zeal.

Guinness commands an army of connoisseurs who hunt creamers¹ like truffle hounds. This has created immense pressure on the nation’s young bar staff who fear the snide remarks of the connoisseurs. Jesmond’s Spy Bar has resolved this issue via the creation of a self-pour Guinness service.

"In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life –
A pint of plain is your only man."

The Workman’s Friend, by Flann O’Brien a.k.a Myles na gCopaleen

“Good things come to those who wait” has been Guinness’ masterful marketing slogan since 1996. Jesmond’s Guinness super fans need wait no more as they can now pour their very own pint. With each, no doubt, following the strict rules of the two-part-pour and ninety-second settling time.

The Stouts' origins date back to 1759, when Kildare-man Arthur Guinness signed a 9000 year lease on St James Gate in Dublin. Since then the beverage has moved slowly, but surely, towards world domination and has become synonymous with Irish culture. The stout, often referred to as 'a pint of plain', was immortalised in Flann O'Brien's poem "The Workman's Friend": "A pint of plain is your only man."

Guinness has been a pioneer of pints for decades. In 1959, mathematician Michael Ash made the ingenious decision to add nitrogen to Guinness, giving the pint its signature creamy consistency. Three decades later Guinness introduced the iconic plastic widget (inserted into every can of the brand’s nitrogenated stout). The widget earned Guinness the Queen’s Award for Technological Achievement, beating out the Internet (and rightfully so). The recent invention of Guinness 0.0 has been a monster hit for the brewery, and the self pour experience is proving to be a success for Spy Bar.

Fortunately, this invention comes shortly before St Patrick’s day, in which Guinness’ constituency is expanded to all those who drink. Draped in emerald green, Newcastle’s student community can now spend March 17^th queuing outside Spy Bar with the happy thought that they will have to pour their own pints.

1. a term coined by Guinness aficionado and influencer Prime Mutton ↩︎