I’m a fresher living in halls, in the first few weeks, we tried to bond together and even went out for a flat meal. But now one of our flatmates has not been seen at all. He never cooks when we are cooking, even if we are in the kitchen all day. Sometimes we hear noises at 6 am and assume it must be him cooking. His food in the fridge regularly goes untouched and out of date. We’ve never even seen him unpack shopping. He’s in the group chat and sees when we make plans and of course, he is invited, but never turns up to pres. How do we encourage him out of hiding?
It seems to me that you’re currently doing all the right things to try and get him out of hiding so far however it is a difficult situation if he is completely ignoring your messages and you don’t see him at all. In the first suggest knocking on his door to see if there's any response as it seems he spends most of his time there. If there is still no contact I would then go down the slightly unconventional route of popping a note under his door. This may seem a bit abrupt or a bit cheesy but if he’s not responding to in-person or online ways of communication then there's no harm in popping through a note asking if he’s okay and that he’s always welcome at pres or other events. Overall, while it is a shame that he doesn’t attend flat stuff and you don’t see him; at the end of the day, it is his decision. Some people honestly prefer the quiet life and not interacting with that many people; if he’s not causing anyone any harm then you may just have to accept you live with a mystery man.
