Battle of the 2am takeaways

Flo Strachen gives her verdict on which takeaway comes out on top for post night-out scran

29th November 2015

There’s is nothing more satisfying after a night out, dancing and sweating, to get a quick bite on the way home. However, the takeaway shop is not just a means to an end, it is an experience. It’s a place where friends gather after a night out, memories are shared and anarchy rules. At the end of a fun filled evening my advice would be to not search for the hailed yellow arches of Macdonald’s and its uniformity, but go to a real toon takeaway (The Toon Takeaway is thoroughly recommended). I am a connoisseur of a drunken night out snack; I’ve been to many and experimented due to my adversity to the classic Maccy D’s. There is, I know nothing more disappointing than a bad takeaway, lumpy gravy and absolutely no atmosphere. How infuriating, so let us be your guide to the Toon’s finest...


Ameen’s is a great start to a fab takeaway. Red and silver in colour its chic and fun. The staff are lovely and become bashful at the slurred words ‘Ameen’s is my favourite in Newcastle’. With tickets for your purchase ensures that no one will ever steal your nuggets. The prices are affordable and it’s social with a constant stream of students filtering through. Recommended dish is the delicious cheesy chips and gravy (don’t forget the Mayo) or of course chips and curry sauce. I have been known to leave TupTup without making it past the smoking area just to leave and head to Ameem’s opening arms.

"The staff are lovely and become bashful at the slurred words ‘Ameen’s is my favourite in Newcastle’"


Munchies of course is a classic but strong choice. Despite being overpriced, there is always something going on in here, it’s an entertaining place. The chicken kebabs are supposedly out of this world and it even has a 5* hygiene rating. What more could you want?


Another great joint is Tasty Jacks. Whilst ordering a delicious bolognaise pizza you can enjoy reclining on the comfy plush sofas, and they even offer arcade games to entertain the more lively amongst your group! The best part of this takeaway is the fact they oven cook the cheese on your chips in one of those aluminium trays - mmmmm.

"The chef turns DJ and pumps the tunes over the airwaves. Soon Adele is booming and everyone dances on the tables"


Magic Flame I would say is a more of an upmarket takeaway; just near digital it has great geographical location. Magic flame is the after party of every Digi night. Hoards of students leaving Cirque or Future Funk who aren’t ready to leave flock to Magic flame where the fun continues. The chef turns DJ and pumps the tunes over the airwaves. Soon Adele is booming and everyone dances on the tables. The fun doesn’t stop there. The garlic sauce ordered here with pizza is incredible! The gravy isn’t so shabby either, so good my friend even licked it off her arm. Hate them with guilt when you’re sober, yet love them when you’re drunk there’s no escaping the pull of the takeaway. For the first few weeks of Freshers I did so well, but when you’ve tasted your first chip and gravy the world suddenly makes sense. I now cannot live without the comfort of these havens.


A word of warning however Spital Tongue folk of Ricky and Marris, do not sample what the Village Takeaway has to offer. On a desperate trip to Londis on your Sunday night depression may tell you this is the cure, I’m afraid it isn’t. With lumpy gravy and spongy textured scampi I won’t be rushing to these fryers again.

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