A recent reanalysis of the object by researchers from Newcastle University and University College Dublin has in fact potentially reclassified it as a dildo, and definitely as a penis-shaped object. Made of wood and 16cm long, a senior Newcastle lecturer remarked that it being a penis was “self-evident”. It was originally discovered in a ditch in the Roman fort Vindolanda, along Hadrian’s Wall.
North East cultural heritage is impressive enough as it is, but now it’s got spicy. The object is the only known example of a disembodied phallus-shaped object to be found across the Roman world - what a claim to fame. The researchers admit it is “astounding” that it was found in the farthest northern fringes of the empire and not in its heartlands, like northern Italy. What’s also surprising about it isn’t actually its suggestive shape, but rather its size. Miniature penis-shaped objects, such as for pendants, were in fact relatively common in the Roman world, as well as phallic representations in mosaics, frescoes and pot decorations. We love a sex positive society. But the fact that it is life-sized (and probably was originally larger, given that wood tends to warp and shrink with age) is significant because wood doesn’t normally survive this long.
Made of wood and 16cm long, a senior Newcastle lecturer remarked that it being a penis was “self-evident”
It being the first of its kind has proven a bit of a mystery for the researchers, who explored many possibilities for its use. Of course, it could just have been used as a sex toy, since Greek and Roman poetry and art frequently featured dildos. As mentioned before, some aspects of Roman society were much more sexually liberated than we are. But more chillingly, dildos were sometimes used as torture instruments, a function the researchers also explored, but hope isn’t the case. The Romans considered phallic objects to have magical properties, which means it could have been used as a pestle to grind food, cosmetics or medicine that would help ward off evil. It may also have been meant to slot into a statue that passers-by would touch for good luck or protection from misfortune, but this would need it to have been located near an entrance to an important building, whilst the evidence points to it having been indoors most of the time.
The object is the only known example of a disembodied phallus-shaped object to be found across the Roman world
If the shape is so unmistakeable – which it is, and if you want to see it yourself in all its full glory, it’s only a quick train ride away, in the Vindolanda museum near Hexham. Why was it first thought to be a much less exciting piece of sewing equipment? Perhaps the cataloguer felt uncomfortable, or just didn’t recognise its suggestiveness. Either case points to a greater openness to considering the sexual nature of artefacts. That it was found alongside shoes, dress accessories and craft waste products could also have lead them to believe it was for darning. No matter its purpose though, it’s a fascinating and intriguing discovery, and will hopefully prompt further searches and conversations about phallic objects in the field.