BNOC knock...

1. So first point of call for BNOC status would be to always ALWAYS be ready to see someone you know in Tescos in Jesmond. It might be 8am in the morning, or 3.59pm on Sunday but you are there and ready with your best fake smile and niceties, no matter how much you just want to grab a frozen pizza and leave. Extra credit given to those who have perfected the nice trackies and bed-head look. Only BNOCs really have to worry about these things because less popular folk can just throw on a dressing gown and retain their anonymity. Ah this price you must pay for popularity.

It’s so unfair that being a BNOC does not constitute a good enough reason for being the last one to arrive in the lecture theatre

2. You have to allow yourself fifteen minutes extra time to cross from the Robinson library over to any lectures you might have. This is not due to your slow pace. Oh no, this is due to the endless conversations you must have as you go about your daily business. It’s so unfair that being a BNOC does not constitute a good enough reason for being the last one to arrive in the lecture theatre. As inconvenient as this is, at least it provides you with many interesting titbits and gossip from your various fans to assist you in your status as a BNOC because obviously you cannot prove yourself a BNOC if you are not the central hub of all things scandalous.

3. People just seem to know your name everywhere you go. It might be someone in your lecturers you swear you’ve never seen before in your life. It might be the sandwich connaisseur at eatforless... Something weird is going on.

There’s never any need to introduce yourself anymore. They already know who you are! And their names? That’s when it gets awkward. How can you keep track of ALL these people you know, or who know you. Just brush them off with a quick ‘babes’ and they’ll never know. Or glare at them like they’ve accosted you without your permission. It’ll just add to your badboy/girl rep.

Obviously you’re on first name basis with Pete and don’t even reach for your ID in any queue.

4. Nights out are a walk in the park for you. In fact they usually end up fuelling your well-stoked ego. Obviously you’re on first name basis with Pete and don’t even reach for your ID in any queue. You know someone behind the bar, so trebles come regularly and with quick-fingered change so you avoid the ‘common’ prices.

Every Thursday, you take extreme delight in swanning past the boisterous rabble that is the Swingers queue. This isn’t just a one-off sneak in. They know your name at the door, and it works all the time, every time.

Once you’re in, you can’t move for people trying to dance with you. It really is tiresome. Maybe head to Munchies and hope they remember your regular standing order.