But is the first example truly harmless? The answer to this is pretty complicated. Realistically, young boys really are just having fun when they play fight or come home from the park pitted. However, there is a clear contrast between what is acceptable from boys, and what is acceptable from girls. This Tide ad shows a mischievous boy having made a mess, which is comedically played off in the ad. But are these behaviours ever accepted from young girls? Would you expect to see this exact ad, but featuring a young girl? There is an obvious imbalance when ‘boys will be boys’ excuses behaviours like these, but ‘girls will be girls’ doesn’t compute in the same context. The phrase, then, enables toxic masculinity, the idea that men are dominant, loud, and messy by nature - and in turn, women are subservient, quiet, and tidy up after them.
The phrase, then, enables toxic masculinity, the idea that men are dominant, loud, and messy by nature - and in turn, women are subservient, quiet, and tidy up after them.
More alarming, though, is the tendency to play the beginnings of misogyny off with the same phrase. Boys pull hair, or push girls over, ‘because they have a crush on them’ and, obviously, ‘boys will be boys’. While they aren’t exactly extreme acts of violence, they are based in misogyny, and when these behaviours aren’t challenged, the belief systems behind them thrive: boys can do what they like, and girls should take it. The phrase, then, enables toxic masculinity, the idea that men are dominant, loud, and messy by nature - and in turn, women are subservient, quiet, and tidy up after them.
Remembering a primary school Christmas play, where a song about getting the house ready described doing the washing up for your mum to reduce her to-do list: ‘And your dad / is so glad / as he hands the rubber gloves to you!’. ‘Boys will be boys’ becomes society’s mentality, and it is consistently repackaged and regurgitated, promoting ideas that let boys and men do very little while girls and women must pick up their slack.
So, if ‘boys will be boys’ seems harmless, try to remember the real world implications this way of thinking promotes - and let little girls run wild sometimes!
