Carry on strutting around in your leather jacket and raspberry beret, they will still laugh and stare but in time they will smile and appreciate your individual streak, your boldness. The things that once made you question yourself, will be the things that people end up loving about you.
Carry on pretending to be an X Factor Judge on a Saturday Night, Carry on pretending to be a This Morning presenter during the school holidays and an EastEnders character of a night time- it’s fun, pure and simple, it’s fun and you will need lots of that to get you through what’s to come, what people say and do, who you will love and who you will lose.
So, carry on screaming ‘get out of my pub’ in the playground and carry on pretending you’re doing the Waltz in front of Alesha Dixon and Craig Revel-Horwood at lunchtimes instead of playing football and joining in with Top Trumps- it will build your character, a character that will become hard for others to break.
Not to go all morbid but, as I have already said get ready for loss not necessarily death but loss in all different forms. This world you see before you, Granny knitting in front of re-runs of Brookside as Grandad makes corned beef and pickle on toast, your ‘perfect’ family of four on Christmas day playing guess who and watching Christmas editions of The Royle Family, with buckets of quality street will not last forever, it’s all temporary, so enjoy it, enjoy that feeling of security, of eternal safety that is created for you because one day you will have to create that safety net for yourself.
So, with that in mind I know you hate hugs and affection, it’s still something we are trying to deal with but try and carry on holding your loved ones that little longer, your mum, aunt, uncle, cousin’s and make sure your arms stretch, as there will be new people who come into your life, into your family that you will love and want to smother with love. You will not have to worry about mum, she will not be alone forever, she will find someone who makes her happy and in return makes you happy too. You will have incredible friends and people who you treasure and care about, you will have people who help provide your life with meaning and love.
But hold your grandparents that little longer, that little tighter- they will make up most of who you are. Take every cuppa soup granny gives you, every pair of white sports socks she buys you (even though you hate them).
Treasure every holiday down to Yarmouth with them, inhale that smell of damp in the chalet, the smell of wet dog and snakebite and black that lingers round the clubhouse and every dribble of Turkish delight ice cream that granny devours. Enjoy walking up that bleeding market day in day out, feel every wrinkle on her hand as you walk down the pier with a poke of chips on your first night there. It will all be ancient history before you know it.
Listen to every Bob Dylan and Lou Reed track that Grandad tells you to listen to as one day you will quite like it after all. From Halloween Parade and Dirty Blvd to Desolation Row and Subterranean Homesick Blues, listen to every single word as they will all appear on your Spotify wrapped one day (you also don’t know what that is but believe me it’s not worth the hype!)
Carry on writing them scripts on the sofa, they may just win you an award someday (wink wink). Don’t cry when you look around this concrete jungle, or feel worthless when you stare at the tower blocks across from our little maisonette’s porch. You will find yourself free in the bohemian, eclectic, beautiful city of Newcastle. Born in the East Midlands, raised for a time in West Lothian and made in the North East.
Finally, as cliche as it sounds, be kind to yourself, it’s not easy out there. Remember that every experience you go through is merely just a learning curve, a hurdle to add to your character profile. Oh, and I promise, it will give you something great to write about in Uni seminars in ten years time no matter what.
So as we part ways, remember, be kind, embrace every negative as a positive, be flamboyant, be loud, be creative, be weird and be strange because that’s being you.
With Love,
Future Cory x