Courier Update 1st April 2021: For whom the Bell tolls

The brewing fight between George and George has finally reached a boiling point - who is the one true George?

Castor Chan
1st April 2022
Image credit: The Courier, Pixabay, Castor CHan
For one day only, George Bell has been granted the status of reigning George of the Courier. You better Bell-ieve it, from midnight to midnight it will no longer be Boatfield at the helm as principal George of Newcastle University’s beloved newspaper. Instead, George has Boat-ed out George from his position in an exclusive 24-hour upheaval this Friday. 

As Courier's Next Top George, Bell remarked, “I gotta say, I'm feeling great. After living in Boatfield’s shadow for so long, being able to call him my inferior is something I'm growing to love.”

Bell has slowly grown his influence over his time at the Courier, officially gaining the title of Courier jester this year. He also earned his own jokes spot on the second page with the only other unique space on that page owned by the Editor's note - perhaps we gave him too much power?

The Courier jester at his worst - Image credit: The Courier 14th March, 2022

Although his new influence covers one special day only, the members of the Courier are in for quite the ride. Speaking to Jess Bradbury, Bell’s fellow Film sub-editor, she said, “Bell has been nothing but a menace to the film section this year and now he has defeated Boatfield to be the reigning George, I fear for the level of tyranny that the whole student media cohort will now experience.

It will be a dark day for the newspaper this Friday, but by George, could Bell not sound more satisfied. An unpredictable sub-editor now as a Courier figurehead and ambitious plans, we all wait with bated breath to see what he will do. “With the power this title gives me, I can't wait to make some real change. Whether that change is good or bad, I'm yet to decide


Update 1 - as of 9:54 am, vice George, George Boatfield, has released his official statement threat challenge as follows:

Is that a tearing sound I can hear? Bell's ego ripping under the weight of this new responsibility? Maybe. Or is it simply his beloved poster of The Boss Baby Two? If that were to sustain damage while Bell was out at 'work'... well, he would be inconsolable! Bell may be a jester, but he's only kidding himself if he thinks there are no consequences for this treachery...

God wills it and God is me

George Bell

Update 2 - as of 10:35 am, Bell has boldly responded with the below:

My message to that Boat of a man is this. Must he stoop so low as to threaten a child, a child voiced by national treasure Alec Baldwin no less. As I solidify my position I realised I couldn't have come into office a moment sooner, Boatfield's tyranny was a threat not only to student media but to himself. If this man were truly a boat, he would be the titanic. These grotesque threats against me and the life of the thing I hold most dear will not go unpunished. I hereby announce that I am submitting a formal complaint to The Council of Georges for Boatfield's heinous actions and request he be stripped of the title George with immediate effect.

(Visited 156 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

ReLated Articles
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap