This newest iteration in a long line of comic book movies has flocked into cinemas; whilst everyone has flocked out of them. How best to describe Morbius? Well, a bad movie for a start. But apart from that, Morbius centres around the sickly protagonist Michael Morbius’ quest for a cure to his degenerative blood disorder. However, his attempts to prolong his life inadvertently turn him into a vampiric super-powered creature. Now left sucking the blood out of evil-doers - much like Sony to Stan Lee’s legacy – Morbius has burst onto the superheroic scene.
How best to describe Morbius? Well, a bad movie for a start
Whilst some interesting action scenes bring some much-needed escapism to the dreary plot full of cardboard characters, there is nothing capable of saving the audience from a wasted two hours. The best parts of the movie are parts shot in shadow – because you don’t have to see a lot.
The supporting cast is made up of talented auteurs such as Jared Harris, Matt Smith and, for some reason, Tyrese from Fast and Furious. Watching Jared Harris try his hardest to add some depth is a lot like the first time you ever saw your dad cry, it doesn’t make sense in your young mind, it changes your perception of the man and it’s the start of a lifelong descent into cynicism.
Obviously, you cannot talk about the film without mentioning Jared Leto’s usual intense style of method acting. Infamously, the actor sent out dead rats and used condoms to other cast members whilst filming the DC blockbuster Suicide Squad. Allegedly, this time he took it up a notch. Choosing to use a wheelchair whilst filming to get into the mind of the disabled protagonist, reportedly it would take up to 40 minutes for him to use the bathroom. According to the director, Daniel Espinosa, Leto went to a dark place whilst filming - after watching the film, I can only assume that place was the Morbius set.
The best parts of the movie are parts shot in shadow – because you don’t have to see a lot.
And, of course, this film is yet another entry in the ‘Sony Spider-Man Universe’ (or the SSU for the millions of diehard super fans). I prefer to call it the MCU – Morbius Cinematic Universe, standing shoulder to shoulder with Tom Harry’s Venom and awkwardly anticipating future companions in Dakota Johnson’s Madame Web and…Bad Bunny as El Muerto?
Why am I so critical of this film? Well, this movie took a lot from me: £15 for an adult ticket to be exact. And I did not get my money’s worth. The best way to treat Morbius is not as a film, but as a cinematic experience. Something that you only do so you can tell people you did it. A lot like those T-Shirts that say “I went to New York and all I got was this stupid T-shirt” yet instead of a t-shirt, you just get disappointment and an oddly bitter taste in your mouth.
With all that being said, there is only one thing I can end this review on… #MorbiusSweep.
