For some, distance only entails a short train away from home, but for others, it could mean a cross-country road trip or a flight. It can be frustrating— and if you’re in the same boat as me, the approach of graduation season means a more permanent version of long distance is on the horizon. But viewing time apart from your partner as a chance to build your bond from a different angle, rather than stressing over the dreaded can-we-make-this-work?, is the secret to keeping the spark alive— so here’s my crash course on what I’ve learnt after navigating long distance for the first time over Christmas.
Always having the next date planned is essential. Not only does having the purpose of planning out a date make a good pass time, but planning it as early in advance as possible means having the day to look forward to can make time feel like it’s going the slightest bit quicker. Visiting eachother’s hometowns—bonus points if your partner has never visited yours and vice versa— makes for the perfect date and chance to learn more about your partner’s home comforts and even meet eachother’s hometown friends.
Making time for virtual dates and activities are still just as important as in-person dates. Whether it be watching a film together over Teleparty, cooking together over FaceTime, making shared playlists, playing games, or just chatting over the phone at random points during the day, it keeps communication strong and allows for space to check in on eachother’s feelings and wellbeing; prioritise chatting to eachother in the mornings and evenings. Having a variation of communication modes keeps the relationship interesting and a good foundation to build creative virtual date nights from.
Having reminders of your partner softens the blow of the distance. Keep your photos together close, perhaps sticking some prints on your wall or saving a picture as your lock screen, wear items of clothing that belong to them that you stole and never gave back, or maybe read their favourite book or listen to their favourite song, allowing you to share your hobbies. Physical reminders is also a great opportunity to send surprises to them in the post, and poses as a creative, thoughtful alternative to having digital reminders.
Swap and dabble in eachothers hobbies and interests, or try a new hobby together. Sending regular updates or little reviews of things you’ve tried will not only bring about avenues of new conversation, but will allow for you to build your bond with your partner and understand their likes and dislikes more. Keep lists of things you want to try together, such as films you want to watch, places you want to travel to, or future date night venues, and add to them accordingly.
Being away from your partner is annoying, and can sometimes be daunting, and tackling long distance will look different for every relationship. However having a solid foundation to build from is crucial, and remember that long distance isn’t always about making it through the time apart, but instead, seizing it as a new opportunity.
