It was that time of the year once again, when the manliest of beings battle it out over who can grow the best facial hair. This year, Newcastle University’s men’s football team had a go at being masters of the moustache for the Movember Foundation charity, managing to raise a sum in excess of £1,700, an amount they hope to raise to £2,000.
There were mixed results when it came to whisker cultivation as some of the lads discovered they perhaps weren’t as alpha as first thought, while others asserted their facial dominance with full testosterone filled effect.
Jack Taylor, the NUAFC captain shared his thoughts on the best and worst things about growing his own very hairy caterpillar.
Man of the Tache: Jack Taylor presents Nick Harrison the trophy.
Image: Calum Wilson
“The best thing about growing a ‘tache is definitely increasing your alpha male status by a good 50%; there’s definitely an innate respect between males with facial hair and for many of our boys that feeling is definitely hard to come by.” If this so called alpha-male status is directly related to positive results, perhaps Newcastle’s own Dan Bilzerians should keep their faces furry for the duration of the winter months and beyond.
“The best thing about growing a ‘tache is definitely increasing your alpha male status by a good 50%”
However, boycotting your shaver for a month does seem to have its drawbacks. Taylor’s regrets include “the bang average jokes that come with the territory of growing a moustache”, this article presumably included. Jacob Bunn’s “worst tache” award was not unwarranted and must have earned him the majority of the stick as his poor attempt was invisible to the naked eye.
Billy bum fluff: despite a month of ‘growth’, some weren’t impressive.
Image: Calum Wilson
On top of the mediocre banter surrounding Movember, Taylor also highlighted the issue of female attention.
“The love lives of most of the lads has been nonexistent (not much different to normal), as most of the ladies don’t like the ‘pedo on day release’ look.”His words, not mine.
One man who’s aesthetics surely haven’t been hindered by the hairy top lip is Nick Harrison, completing his full Hulk Hogan handlebars in emphatic style.
The team are continuing to raise money through to December, so if you want to help the boys reach their £2,000 goal donations can be made through individual players’ sponsor pages.