There are times in my life when I’m glad I did dance and felt empowered and strong (I mean I was killing it cardio endurance-wise and my legs looked jacked), but other times I look back and feel a little gross about certain performances. I may have felt proud at the time, knowing that my fellow dancers and teachers would praise this ‘feminine’ power, but I look back and consider if I contributed to a continuous problem in the dance community, intentionally or not.
It’s not uncommon to see kids under ten in teeny spandex bra tops and shorts, shaking their butts and popping their chests, at dance competitions, and people in the dance community passing it off as ‘cute’ and ‘what they have always done.’ Some may say it’s harmless for kids, but I think it can be a way to normalize sexualizing your body. I’m all for sex positivity, but having that mindset ingrained from a young age can be dangerous, as it can link some of your value to your body.
I’m all for sex positivity, but having that mindset ingrained from a young age can be dangerous, as it can link some of your value to your body.
Furthermore, it’s not uncommon for this association to grow as dancers age. In dance, you often wear tight clothing to better see your body alignment, which can lend to body critique and comparison. Pair that with the insecurity that comes with puberty, and suddenly you’re spiraling because you’re not only not ‘feminine’ (sexy) enough, but now you don’t have the perfect dancer body that x girl has.
So when all of your extracurricular time is being filled with this picture of ‘femininity,’ it’s all you know. It’s only on reflection, which you probably don’t have time to do because you’re dancing ten hours a week, and aging out of dance, that you come to this realisation. Towards high school, I started to recognise that the dances I did weren’t exactly appropriate, but when you’re in high school, being ‘sexy’ feels cool and, surely, if the adults approve, then it’s fine. Right?
It’s not until undergrad that I feel like I truly reconsidered what feminine could mean outside of this dance mindset. In university, I explored what femininity meant to me, and it wasn’t just wearing tiny clothing and dropping it low. That can be the definition for others, but it’s not what I believe resonates with me now.
Femininity felt like cutting my hair short for once because I didn’t need to put it in a ballet bun. It felt like trying out new clothing styles, disregarding what I thought was trending amongst the other dance girls. It felt like taking a path that felt healthy and just me. Sure, sometimes I do feel feminine and powerful dancing in a sexual way, but that’s not the end-all be-all for femininity in my life, and it surely will not be dictated by what someone else says femininity is or will be.