Navigating dating as a young adult can be exceptionally challenging, as it is largely based on a person’s lived experience of witnessing their parents’ relationship. If someone is fortunate enough to experience being a part of the ‘ideal’ nuclear family structure, their expectations for dating are generally hopeful. This group of people can optimistically hope to recreate the magic that kept their parents’ relationship strong when they began to explore dating. They are more likely to be open to the idea of a relationship and understand the happiness and stability that a loving relationship could bring to their lives.
On the other hand, if a kid as grows up (especially during their formative years) in the absence of a stable relationship between their parents, it will greatly impact their attitudes towards dating in their adult life. The consequences of parental affairs surrounding dating begin to fully emerge during a person’s teenage years. When they reach a mature enough age to be told the full details of why their parents separated, it can completely deteriorate someone’s hopefulness about finding their ‘other half’.
They are likely to become defensive to even the thought of dating because they do not want to risk repeating the situation that caused their parents to separate.
Parental affairs create immense insecurity and anxiety for young adults when they begin dating. Children of separated parents then have expectations that love is something they will not be blessed to experience. As a result, they are likely to become defensive to even the thought of dating because they do not want to risk repeating the situation that caused their parents to separate. They further develop presumptions that anyone they could potentially be dating is lying about their feelings and, therefore, are precautious, even at the earlier stages of getting to know someone.
In the worst cases, the effects of parental affairs can invade their way into relationships. The victims of unstable parental relationships can feel that even though they have done the impossible thing of finding a partner. There is still a sentiment that they feel like they do not belong or deserve a happy relationship. However, enduring the troubles of parental affairs can somewhat be a blessing in disguise as it gives someone the lived experience and wisdom of knowing how to recognise ‘red flags’ in others and knowing who to avoid. Ultimately, this could improve their chances of finding the love that their parents never had.
