When it comes to girl code, things can get a little messy, let’s say. But where do you draw the line when it comes to the sacred code? Is it okay to date a friend's ex? Is it as holy as girls say it is? And more importantly, what are the rules?
When you closely unpack the term ‘girl code’ and what it means, it could, from one angle, be part of the feministic movement in which girls should stand by each other as opposed to letting the man come between you. But at the same time, does it put all the pressure on the female to turn down the ex’s advancement in the name of ‘girl code’? Freelance writer Moya Lothian-McLean says, ‘If a man is dating someone and that’s your friend and then the man approaches you, then it’s up to you to turn it down. There’s no agency put on the man.’ Pretty hypocritical if you ask me.
So, what even are the rules? There are three key points to the code: never date a friend's ex, never date a friend's crush, and never talk to the same guy as your friend. But lifestyle editor Ellen Scott disagrees with this set of rules and argues that the code is ‘silly’ as there is no ‘ex code’ that the ex-partner has to follow and that ultimately "Girl code should be broken - you can’t control who you fall in love with."
But does Ellen Scott have a point, though? Can a former ex-partner be completely off limits to a friend, personally, you would have to look at the reasons for the breakup; for example, did this guy leave your friend heartbroken, did they just lose the spark, or were they simply better off as friends?
If so, it begs the question, is it fair to deny or want to deny your friend that chance simply because they have a better spark or have simply just fallen in love with them? As editor Ellen Scott says, you can’t help who you fall in love with, so should you be able to date a friend's ex despite the awkward circumstances…?
