Hardly Athletic FC- by Dan Haygarth
It’s been a very challenging debut season for Hardly Athletic FC. Having played all twelve games, we sit bottom of the bottom division of Intra Mural with a mere three points and a goal difference of minus fifty-six.
With a goal difference so deeply negative, I’ll just focus on the season’s few positives.
We're a bit like the Harlem Globetrotters if they played football, were shit and exclusively toured small venues in the North East of England
We’ve brought a carnival atmosphere to Intra Mural Football. A bit like the Harlem Globetrotters if they played football, were shit and exclusively toured small venues in the North East of England, Hardly Athletic have wowed fans across the University. This came to a head when the club played its first and only cup tie against Division One leaders, SS Ladzio. A boozy crowd of almost 50 saw the club valiantly grind out a 4-1 defeat against the best team at the University.
The squad possesses a fair few diamonds in the rough. Tough tackling Ben Lowes had a commanding season in midfield, while the ever-reliable Adam Robertson was superb at right back. Liam Mulligan has been a constant goal threat from midfield and January signing Jacob Layfield has been a creative force and a prolific scorer since his arrival.
Layfield inspired the club’s only win to date, a 6-2 thrashing of Classic XI in the final week of the season. A monumental result that saved the club from liquidation – we’ll be back next season for more. Keep an eye out for the promotion push.
Berocca Juniors- by James Sproston
The 2017/18 season went as most Berocca Juniors’ seasons do: start of with little hope, and end with little reward.
Though we’ve never been competing for Hardly Athletic’s ‘bottom of the bottom division’ crown, we’ve had a few shockers ourselves over the years.
Our inaugural season left nothing more than one win in ten games, and that was against five 14-year-olds in the cup, whilst the second season brought more success, even though we rarely peaked above a 50% win ratio.
It’s a shame to say that our comeback wasn’t as heroic as it could’ve been
Following a mildly impressive third season, we all though that our BJFC days were over, but we triumphantly returned in October, donning brand new kits and a saucy sponsor.
It’s a shame to say that our comeback wasn’t as heroic as it could’ve been, with our season being one of two quarters and one half.
A hugely successful spell from October through to December in the more familiar 5-a-side was marred by just two wins from eight in the 7-a-side format, with no silverware in any respect.
Come January, our glorious 5-a-side success dipped, with a five game losing streak, whilst our 7s form went from worse to indescribable, losing all of our games in 2018.
A small chance of glory awaited the boys in the Campus Leagues end of season tournaments, reaching the semi-finals in the former. However, a last-minute dropout from the succeeding tourney tarnished the team’s already battered reputation, with a friendly with Hardly Athletic in June the only chance at redemption.