January Blues and New You's

January is such a fake month. We all pretend to be better people, we all try to be better people, and we all fail and feel miserable and inadequate and exhausted by the whole charade by February the first. But it’s not our fault! Whose bright idea was it to choose January, notoriously wet and cold, voted by most people as the most depressing moth of the year, to be the month everyone resolves to be ‘better’? And who decided to put the worst month after the most fun month? December is great, nobody cares if you eat a lot and do very little, but suddenly in January we’re expected to forget all that?

It’s like for one month, we all conspiratorially agree that we actually like doing the things that we tell ourselves we shouldn’t do the rest of the year.is too busy trying to keep their own resolutions to worry about yours, so just sit on the side-lines and eat leftover quality streets- it’s what everyone really wants to do. And if you actually want to get healthier, lose weight or write a novel, just postpone it till February! You won’t have to endure the competitiveness of January because everyone will have given up on their goals by then, leaving you to make a resolution, try it and fail at it in peace.

"It’s like for one month, we all conspiratorially agree that we actually like doing the things that we tell ourselves we shouldn’t do the rest of the year.In the run up to the holiday season we actively encourage each other to ‘treat ourselves’ and ‘be naughty’."

I’m all for skipping January all together, I’ve been ignoring its existence all month and I already feel like a better person. What does that even mean anyway? The number one new year’s resolution is to be a ‘better’ person. But if we really wanted to be the best version of ourselves, wouldn’t we all want to be Beyoncé? And do you think Beyoncé tells herself on January the first that this is the year she will clean the loft out, or start a vegetable garden? NO! She’s too busy making records and chilling with glamourous people! Granted, we can’t all do this, but we could set ourselves more Beyoncé-like goals. Embrace the fact that being a single lady isn’t that bad, get your sibling to have a fight in a lift, stand in front of a feminism banner, the choice is yours! Embrace your inner Beyoncé and start becoming the best version of you! And once you’ve completed these small, achievable goals you can set bigger ones- win a grammy and name your first born after a colour! If we embrace our inner Beyoncé we can definitely become ‘better’ versions of ourselves.

"do you think Beyoncé tells herself on January the first that this is the year she will clean the loft out, or start a vegetable garden? NO!"

Alternatively, we could just accept that we’re not that bad. Yes, you probably drink too much. Yes, your kitchen probably does need a clean. Should you care? Probably. But do you? If you look deep down into your soul, you don’t care and neither does anyone else. Friends can forgive you the mould, and you’ve got your full life beyond uni for your liver to repair itself from the treble abuse it’s had to endure. The old you is just fine, you’ve survived this long haven’t you?