Firstly, without a doubt, the top Metro pet hate is having to sit next to one of those stinking individuals who clearly has no awareness or care for personal hygiene. Too many times can we innocent, well smelling and showered Metro users get on to the train only to find ourselves sitting next to the life embodiment of Mr or Mrs Twit – flies in hair, food in beard and mist of stench surrounding. We may worry that we’ll leave the train smelling similarly if we don’t leave or perhaps we may even pass out, but, of course, we Brits are far too polite to say anything, and most of us probably far too ashamed to quietly stand up and move. Instead… we sit there, silently and helplessly dying from the pungent aroma veering from our right.
Then of course, there are those inconsiderable young folk who insist that everyone else in the carriage MUST listen to their unbearable dub-step, rap and club beats. Headphones were designed for one reason –TO KEEP SOUND IN! It seems as though, unfortunately, young Metro users do not understand this simple truth. With great and wise consideration you may choose to stand or sit next to, who you think is going to be the most quiet and unsociable traveller of them all, having their headphones in hand. Five minutes later you’re listening to a tinny mediated version of 90’s failed trash music, taken off radio for a reason, and you wish you’d sat next to Mr and Mrs Twit in the double booth!
Another Metro pet hate is being pestered by strange animals whose owners insist on bringing them into the carriage unleashed. There’s nothing worse than peacefully placing down your travel novel to reveal the face of a great big drooling Great Dane gazing up at you, or having to sit next to a couple of unsettled ferrets who have taken an interest in your mobile device. Just why? Evan Almighty doesn’t get a look in when the animals start flooding to you…
The final pet hate is the modern day belief that handbags have a greater seat priority than people. “Excuse me” you say “may I please sit here?” These are words which are today followed up by an eye-lined death stare and an obvious implied “NO! Can’t you see that my handbag was sitting there first?” Reluctantly they move it and you sit down feeling like you’ve just been publically rebuked. Of course, we all know that sitting next to a stranger on the Metro is like the worst thing ever, right? But does this really justify giving the seat next to you to your precious handbag?
The Metro is a wild environment for spotting quirky individuals and developing nail-biting pet hates. Thankfully these are only a real issue, of course, on the rare occasions when Metro is actually running. (We probably have Deutsche Bahn to thank for that!)