My Relationship with my Mum

Mother’s Day can be complicated. For some, it’s a celebration of the most important women in their life – a way to say thank you for all they’ve done. For others, it can be one of the worst days of the year. There’s a quote that I’ve been thinking about in the run up to […]

Jay Barber
15th March 2023
Pixabay
Mother’s Day can be complicated. For some, it’s a celebration of the most important women in their life – a way to say thank you for all they’ve done. For others, it can be one of the worst days of the year.

There’s a quote that I’ve been thinking about in the run up to Mother’s Day this year: mothers and daughters existing as wretched mirrors of each other, I am all you could have been and you are all I might be.

Put simply, I don’t have the best relationship with my mum. Without getting into the specifics, our issues have revolved around a clash in personality, politics, and identity. My refusal to bite my tongue in arguments about equality definitely haven’t made things easier.

Being an only child, and specifically, an only daughter, makes a bad relationship all the more complicated. When the relationship everyone else seems to treasure just isn’t the same for you, you question what you’re doing wrong. Are you too similar? Too different? The worst part is that, most of the time, there’s no answers.

I recognise that my mum has done a lot for me, and I’m grateful for it – but as children, I’m a firm believer that we don’t owe our parents respect if they haven’t always earned it. Parents often act with best intentions, but forget that signing up to have kids is also signing up to raise humans, autonomous beings who have their own thoughts, feelings and opinions.

All of this to say – it’s okay if Mother’s Day isn’t a good day for you. Unsubscribe from the emails you’ll get from every company pestering you to buy gifts or send flowers, spend time with loved ones, and check out of social media if you need to. You’re a lot less alone than you think.

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