Pedantic partner picking: who should get a say in who we date?

Why you shouldn't be listening to the opinions of your loved ones

Elizabeth Meade
19th November 2021
Image: Pixabay

A lot of us value the opinions of our friends and family on many aspects of our lives - sometimes too much. We ask for their views on our hobbies, interests, sense of fashion and even major life choices like where to live or what course to take. But is it healthy to take their opinions on our relationships to heart?

In my opinion, healthy relationships largely concern the feelings of the people in the relationship. Obviously it is not always that simple. Someone's relationship with a family member or friend can certainly impact their romantic life as well. However, unless there are major concerns about the relationship in question, I don't think family and friends' opinions should hold much weight.

Unless a trusted friend feels something really isn't right about the person, it ultimately doesn't matter how much they like them personally.

Family and friends don't see most of what goes on in a romantic relationship. While their advice may be well-intentioned, a lot of it is based on their own experience, views and perspectives that may not be relevant. I notice that people sometimes seem to complain about relationship woes to everyone except whoever they are in the relationship with. This leads to a lack of communication which can be frustrating for everyone involved.

Most minor relationship problems can be solved by talking them out - a key relationship skill! As for general opinions, I think those should hold even less weight. Unless a trusted friend feels something really isn't right about the person, it ultimately doesn't matter how much they like them personally. It's not their relationship and I think it's healthier to respect that people from different parts of my life will have their differences.

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AUTHOR: Elizabeth Meade
Science sub-ed and Chemistry major. Avid reader. Chaos theorist. Amateur batrachologist and historian. Rock fan. Likes cybersecurity and cooking.

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