Rant of the Week: Get a Sub the Right Way!

Nachos from Subway? Are you mad? No really, are you?

Will Hamilton-Davies
6th November 2017
Image Credit: unlicensed Pexels

Subway sandwiches- individual, expressive, tasty….and hell, they aren’t half controversial!

Whether you’re a die-hard fan of all things meat, spectating as a 6-inch Italian is packed full of lettuce, tomatoes and onions; or you’re simply devastated as you witness a subway newbie opt for a cheese toasted falafel flatbread, everyone has their annoyances with fellow subway-goers.

Considering that I rarely stray from the safety of my usual order I can understand those that would preach ‘don’t knock it ‘til you try it’ in the comments below. Granted, I’m yet to try a combination of two sauces, and certainly haven’t conjured the courage to be that one brave, ‘a bit of everything please’ person; However, I would still consider myself enough of a veteran to unleash some of my biggest hatreds in this blog.

“Meatball Marinara on Italian Please”

In order to address my issue with that ‘meatball marinara guy’ clearly, I am going to be blunt in telling you that I’m afraid you are… the basic bitch of subway. Considering that most of the people ordering this horribly minimalist sub are actually regulars at Subway, it’s somewhat annoying that they are yet to find something a little more creative, expressive or adventurous, than subways readymade meatballs inside a plain baguette, maybe with the added luxury of cheese if they’re feeling really ‘rad’.

I would like to extend an apology to any people using said meatballs for innovative, weird and wacky subway combinations; you might be trialling meatballs with jalapenos and southwest sauce, or with chicken tikka and lettuce… you’re a bit of a freak, but you’re paving the way to crazy new Subway sandwiches, and I respect that.

My particular hatred lies with the people that opt out, in order not to opt in. They haven’t had time to consider what they want, or simply can’t be bothered to find their own sandwich- in a moment of blind panic they ask for the most unoriginal option on the board behind, and are surprised at the transparency of the sandwich artist’s smile.

Image Credit: Subway

The Meal without the Deal?

I can only assume those that fit under this category are too ill-informed to understand the purpose of the ‘Meal-Deal’. Whilst it makes complete sense to avoid the crisp or cookie and drink if only hungry for the subway itself, if you’re already getting the drink, why on earth are you turning down the free cookie?

There isn’t any dodgy small print, there’s no strings attached, Subway know we love a little sweet or salty something extra, and are offering it as part of their deal.

It irritates me to hear foolish customers stating, ‘I’m not hungry for a cookie right now’ or ‘no thanks I’ll be full of my sub’; for goodness sakes you’ve paid for the deal, take the cookie

and give it to a friend, keep it until your hungry again, put it in the bin for all I care…your losing out by not having this snack or cup in your life, so just take it its free!

Taking the ‘Sub’ Out of Subway

Now as far as I am concerned, Subway is, and will only ever be king of one thing, and that’s sandwiches. As delectable as Subway nachos and salads may be, the thought of someone ordering these things as anything other than a side for their sandwich is quite upsetting.

I would put this down as a huge wasted opportunity; not only are you missing out on a fresh hearty and filling sandwich, but you could make that salad or nacho dish equally as well from the comforts of your own home. Sandwiches are their speciality… you wouldn’t go to a bingo night and play scrabble, don’t go to Subway and get nachos.

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