Roses are red, Violets are dead?

Has Romance finally slunk off to die? Molly Harris questions whether Tinder booty calls are the bleak new face of the future of dating, or if there’s hope left.

NUSU
9th November 2015

D

efine the word dating? Dating used to mean spending one-on-one time with a romantic interest in the hope of getting to know them, now the word has come to mean a whole lot of things. It can be anything from seeing someone, sleeping with someone, or just ‘hanging out’.

So, when did everything become so confusing and what happened to the good old fashioned date?    

   Modern dating is a minefield with so many new ways to meet people, from Tinder to Bumble to Sizzl (a new dating app for bacon lovers only). So where are you supposed to find Mr/ Mrs Right, if not down the bacon isle of your local supermarket?

“So where are you supposed to find Mr/Mrs Right, if not down the bacon isle of your local supermarket?”

  It could all start with a swipe right, Facebook request or a twitter follow, slide into someone’s DM’s and get chatting. More and more it seems we’re in cyber romances, and in fact our real relationship is with our phones. 99% of people being surgically attached to them; with Facebook, iMessage and WhatsApp, who needs to talk face to face anymore, and after all, it cuts out the awkward silences, and gives you plenty of time to think of something witty to reply. However talking too much over text/online can make eventual face to face communication difficult. Surely the phone should merely be a tool to make a date happen.

   So dating has gone online, but what about for those who still like to take a girl out. I’m sure there is still a cohort of boys out there that like to wine and dine a girl. But this is problematic as well, as what’s dating etiquette? Awkwardly do the hand dance over the bill, as he offers to pay and you refuse, after all you know his student loan is as little as yours so why should he have to eat solely baked beans next week because he splashed the cash trying to impress you? But what’s the alternative, a panini in Eat4Less in your lunch hour doesn’t exactly spell romance? But why should dating come with all these rules and expectations. We’re young free and single (for now).

“A panini in Eat4Less in your lunch hour doesn’t exactly spell romance”

Some simple first date suggestions:

  1. A first date should never be dinner, keep it fun, keep it casual and keep it close to home just in case the date doesn’t go well and you both want to ditch.

2It’s a date not an interview. The fear of awkward silences is real for some of us. Don’t find yourself playing 20 questions and ending up knowing everything from the guy’s favourite film to their favourite sandwich filling. Allow for the conversation to develop naturally, if you have to force it you might not be that compatible.

3Be yourself, because if you’re not how do you know that they like you for you and not the person you’re trying to be. Anyone who doesn’t see how great you are doesn’t deserve to be taking you out anyway.

However, if you’re looking for an expert in the world of dating I’m probably not the best person to ask, maybe dating does exists but I’m the only one not being asked out. But it seems to me that it’s 2015 and dating is a novelty, not a necessity, maybe the date is simply outdated.

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