This is what happened, when on a mundane Tuesday I began to engage in, what I expected to be a typically pain free sexual experience with my partner. I’m not here to slander their name (for I would like to remain in this relationship), but the following events are questionable at best! They began using their limited knowledge to ‘go down on me’, perform ‘cunnilingus’, ‘lick me out’- or whichever way you want to describe what should be a very pleasant experience.
The lesson learnt from this painful ordeal is that communication is vital
What felt like seconds into this act, an intense burning sensation washed over me. This feeling started as a tingle, which quickly erupted into a flurry of panic when it turned into an alarming burn which had washed over my entire vagina. As it turns out, my loving, caring and quite clearly senseless partner had decided that my vagina (self-lubricating may I add) required more spit for a comfortable and pleasurable experience. In trying to produce more saliva, he had acquired menthol flavoured chewing gum from the drawers beside us. Here the inevitable happened, the stinging sensation which had taken hold of my entire body had started from a concoction of pH neutral saliva and eucalyptus airwaves. After sprinting to the bathroom, the cold water splashes soothed the inflammation but not the uncomfortable tenseness in the air.
The lesson learnt from this painful ordeal is that communication (and basic anatomy training) is vital in any sexual encounter. Luckily, a urinary tract infection nor thrush came from this experience- but two very embarrassed (one walking with a limp) people.
