The flatmates from hell

Ghouls don’t just haunt us on Halloween: Georgie Morgan on the skeletons that are lying in your flatmate’s closets all year round

26th October 2015

As I made the four-and-a-half-hour long journey to Newcastle I was excited to start my first year at university. With my hands full of luggage, I made my way up all 3 flights of stairs, anticipating meeting my new flatmates for the first time. I was not nervous, but there is always that thought in the back of one’s head wondering if the people I was going to be living with for the next year were going to be flatmates from hell. A thought that I imagine crosses most people’s minds.

“The majority of flats have the odd Frankenstein in residence”


Having asked around, I have discovered that the majority of flats have the odd Frankenstein in residence. One thing I cannot bear, along with many others, is food thieves. These Hobnob stealing Hobgoblins have got their art down to a T. When you leave something in the fridge and even write you name on it, it mysteriously goes missing. The person who takes it is deluded enough to think you wouldn’t mind if they ate your food, even if you are friends. It is not okay. You know it isn’t your food, so why do you take it? Buy your own food or ask.

“The amount of hair from God knows where that accumulates in the plughole makes me question if I am living with a pack of werewolves”

  I think most of us can think of a culprit who ‘borrows’ you plates or cutlery, and you, being the angel that you are, lets them. These demons eat and leave your dirty dishes by the side of the sink without washing up expecting someone else to wash them, and as a few OCD prone people who like clean dishes will wash them themselves, therefore leaving the devil to get away with it. Pull your own weight.       A definite don’t while sharing a flat is to cook foul smelling foods such as fish frequently without putting on the fan or opening the window, therefore stinking out the whole flat, making you think someone has died.

  Hygiene is also a big deal when living together. Especially in communal areas. The amount of hair from God knows where that accumulates in the plughole makes me question if I am living with a pack of werewolves.

“He constantly has a number of middle-aged people in his room leading the others to come to the conclusion that he is in a cult”

Moreover, when some cannot handle their drink and find the humour of urinating in the kitchen sink amusing, despite having an ensuite is just wicked. But it isn’t only boys who do disgusting things; when a woman has her own week from hell, and leaves used tampon applicators at the side of the toilet, instead of doing the humane thing of taking them and putting them in the bin, is revolting. Where is your common decency woman?

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