Greggs - a cultural phenomenon unlike any other. It's the place we go to feel good, to forget our troubles, to truly connect with our deepest cravings. It is my humble belief that most great things in our world can, in some way, be directly correlated to the existence of Greggs - and no, I will not elaborate. The unparalleled impact of this iconic bakery naturally leads to the question that has been haunting the minds of all for as long as television has existed - what would our favourite shows be like with the inclusion of Greggs?
Already, Glee holds a special place in the hearts of many. Despite being potentially one of the most problematic shows of the early 2010s (Sue Sylvester I'm looking at you), the chaos that ensues solidifies its place as a true pillar of popular culture. There is only one thing which could possibly add to Glee's already iconic status - Greggs. Just imagine: instead of the infamous slushies, our favourite gleeks run the risk of being steak-baked in the face. This new level of danger and added threat of physical harm would really bring some extra drama to the halls of William McKinley High School. It's what we deserve.
Something that haunts me each time I sit down to watch Stranger Things, is the lack of food they seem to consume. Save for the famous Eggos, the characters appear to rarely eat anything. This, of course, begs the question: how much of the trauma in the Upside Down was just a result of hangriness? Maybe if Hawkins invested in a Greggs the characters would be too busy stuffing their faces with pastries to notice any funny buisness. Never mind Kate Bush, you know what would have stopped Vecna in his tracks? A vegan sausage roll.
It isn't the dresses, courting, or obscene amount of wealth that separates the world of Bridgerton from that of our own, it's the lack of Bacon Breakfast Rolls. You expect us to believe that Eloise Bridgerton is strutting about the ton with nothing so much as a yum yum? Where is the sustenance, where is the sugar, where is the joy?
PRETTY LITTLE LIARS
Pretty Little Liars, the drama which dominated the minds and screens of teenagers throughout the 2010s. A's villainous exploits were equal parts creative and hilariously ridiculous. The inclusion of Greggs in the town of Rosewood would make perfect sense. You can virtually picture A leaving an extremely dramatic (and probably deeply offensive) note spelt out in sausage rolls. Of course, this would somewhat lessen the threatening aspect of the stalkerish messages as you could just eat the sausage rolls, but it's important to appreciate the silver linings in life.
So, there you have it. A sneak peak into the wonderous world of television if Greggs existed within our favourite shows. Personally, I will spend every day praying for the acknowledgment of this cultural masterpiece of a bakery on our screens, but for now, whenever you pop in for a pick-me-up, just remember how lucky you are to live in a world with Greggs.