To tell or not to tell...that is the question

Deciding whether or not to confess your feelings for someone is tricky, but what things should you be considering?

Rebecca Sykes
27th November 2021
Image: Pixabay
When do you tell someone you like them? I have one ‘real’ relationship to my name from when I was 16 and I have realised since that I didn’t really like him. A few months ago, I thought I might have liked someone, but that thought flew away when I quickly realised the feeling was only friendship. So, I’m not the most qualified or experienced person to answer that question. But, is anyone?

There is actually a wikiHow on ‘When to tell someone you like them’, which shouldn’t surprise me as there’s so much so-called dating advice out there. Knowing when to tell someone you like them seems to be different for everybody and there is not an exact method to it. If there was, would love be as desirable? After all, some people love the thrill of the chase more than the actual relationship. Then, there’s the risk that once you confess your feelings, they’ll get bored- or you will.

Realising I have limited knowledge and I’m not the most positive person about relationships, I posed the question to a few people in relationships. After convincing one friend, who is in a relationship, that it was for an article, she told me “I think you just know. Or you just feel if you don’t tell, it’s going to be too late.”  The sentiment of just knowing seems to be the most important aspect, as another friend said “I think as soon as you know. There’s a ‘look’ they give you”.

There’s something to be said for being brave and risking it to have even more love and happiness.

I love how romantic and sweet they are. I’m just not sure it’s me. I don’t think I’m alone in just wanting to avoid the pain and not like anybody, or just never tell them. There’s something to be said for being brave and risking it to have even more love and happiness. Yet, if you don’t want to, there’s something to be said for waiting or not acting on your feelings. Trust yourself.

 Although, from the very extensive (googling and asking friends counts, right?) research that I've conducted, I think there are 3 important things to consider before telling someone you like them.

1. Be Certain. At least 70% certainty, as being nervous is part of it. You’ll know when to tell them, just trust yourself.

2. Risk Ruining the Friendship. Basically, they may not feel the same way. That’s fine, everything doesn’t always go to plan. What if it was a really great friendship? Then again, it could be a really great relationship.

3. Do they feel the same? This is the hardest part because you can never know what somebody else feels. Unless they tell you, but in this scenario, we’re telling them first. Cynically, it’s just guesswork and sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn’t.

So, when do you tell someone you like them? If you want to tell them, go for it! You’ll likely know when, as it’s about the both of you.

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