It’s always: men who are good with children are so attractive, fathers are trying their best and “dad bods” are hot, but when it comes to women, of course, they are good with children, and “what kind of mum doesn’t know that”, and “she really let herself go ever since she gave birth”.
Are we as a society so used to absent fathers, uncaring husbands and lazy men that we give credit to those who manage to be decent parents? When they spend more than one day a week with their kids and remember their favourite colours and cartoons? If parenting was a race between men and women, mums would be the ones who won, but dads would be the ones given a golden medal as a consolation prize.
Why is there such a poor picture of fatherhood? Or have we placed such a big expectation upon all mothers that everything they do we take as the bare minimum or even not enough? Dads get to be the “fun parent” who allows the kids to mess with junk food and gets praised, yet somehow, this type of a “fun mum” would earn frowns and bitter remarks about her parenting.
There seems to be an immediate collective assumption that fatherhood is a choice men might make, while motherhood is a step in a woman’s life she is expected to take
Fathers spending time with their children are “good dads” and “involved in their child’s life”; they are attentive and the dream husbands for babysitting the kids and taking them out to the playgrounds. A mum playing with her kids is just… a mum playing with her kids. It’s nothing special. It’s not a good mum, an involved mum, or the dream wife. She is just a mother doing her job. A mum is not babysitting; she is taking care of her children.
There seems to be an immediate collective assumption that fatherhood is a choice men might make, while motherhood is a step in a woman’s life she is expected to take. Of course, the man will always be praised for doing something he didn’t have to, while the woman taking care of a child is like a child going to school every morning. More often than not, we take mothers’ labour for granted, expect it even. I think it’s their turn to be praised, even for the smallest things.
