Why my best relationship is the one with myself

How comfortable can we be spending time alone?

Sam Norman
11th May 2023
I love my own company. After 20 years, I would hope so, but it surprises me the amount of people who truly don’t love to be alone. And when I refer to my relationship with myself, I do not mean in how I look in the mirror, I mean, when all I said and done, and I’m alone in bed, sometimes my own company is all that I need. 

I’d say I have been gifted with a large social battery, which I guess makes my vast appreciation of alone time more bizarre. I do think I thrive in group settings. I never shy away from meeting new people. I love engaging in conversations on all kinds of topics, I can probably blag and converse on just about anything. I’d like to think when I am social, it is to an intense level – which probably suggests why when I do find time alone, I enjoy it so much. 

Obviously, human interaction is a very basic and very crucial need. But, for some who cannot go a few hours without speaking to someone, I find I could spend the day, doing my own thing, spending time with myself, and be none the wiser. Once you get to this level, you do realise it opens up new horizons. I’ll never forget when I was younger, if someone wanted to go to the retail park or shopping centre to get clothes, you HAD to go with someone else. If no one could come with you, well, damn, you better wait until you find someone. I never understood this, which is why I quickly found enjoyment in doing these ‘group’ activities solo. Of course, I appreciate the company too when I do them, but there is a sense of liberation when just doing something on your own accord.

Now, I don’t claim to be some guru of learning to love your own company. And the stuff stated above to many is simply their norm, but it does bewilder me the amount of people who cannot feel comfortable for long periods of time in their own company. I fundamentally believe, before anyone else, you need to be your own friend, therapist, entertainment, time-killer. I’m no doctor, but speaking from personal experience, if you master enjoying your own company your mental health will have an amazing kick-start. 

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AUTHOR: Sam Norman
Head of Current Affairs 23/24. Campus Comment Sub-editor 22/23. BA English Language and Literature Student.

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