Why your 'type' may be limiting you

One of our writers unpacks how romantic types could actually be limiting your experiences.

Marina Snyder
2nd March 2023
“So, what’s your type?”. A question I often dread to be asked. In this current day society, I find that often, people try to place each other in boxes, attempting to make sense of our attraction for one another through categories; blondes, brunettes, short, tall etc. But often I think, when it comes down to it, these ‘types’ we narrow ourselves down can seem superficial and overly simplified.

Each person has stories, experiences, passions, and dreams that blend and accumulate and often it is these traits that cement our attraction to humans.

With attraction being so subjective, it’s no surprise that people differ on what they are attracted to, with some preferring some face shapes or hair colours to others. However, to only date that specific type I think would be ultimately limiting as by restricting yourself, you may be missing out on a number of people who could be right for you. Not to mention, people are also much more than just appearances. Each person has stories, experiences, passions, and dreams that blend and accumulate and often it is these traits that cement our attraction to humans. It’s watching someone talk excitedly about an interest or being kind and helpful to a stranger they’ve never met; it is these types of individual qualities that I think we should be acknowledging for attraction rather than just the physical attributes.

Stop narrowing people into ‘types’ to pick and choose from, go for the person who makes you laugh, who makes you feel comfortable and who you can be yourself around.


Dating outside your comfort zone also allows you to learn more about yourself; you learn to separate what you like from what you dislike, and this can be fundamental for later years. Being in your early 20s means you're young and still trying to figure yourself out, let alone other people. What we find attractive is still developing and changing. So, date the athlete, date the stoner boy, the nerd, date a brunette and a ginger and a blonde, but just don't limit yourself. Because at the end of the day, as cheesy as the idiom “it’s what's on the inside that counts” is, there’s an element of truth in it; stop narrowing people into ‘types’ to pick and choose from, go for the person who makes you laugh, who makes you feel comfortable and who you can be yourself around.

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