Making new friends during freshers week

Making friends in your late-teens and twenties seems a lot harder than when you were a kid; in primary school, asking someone to share a crayon or play with you at break time was the key to sparking a friendship.  Now, you’ve moved away from your school friends and are placed back at square one. But this time there are no crayons to share and your youthful innocence has been replaced with a small dose of social anxiety.  The main thing to remember is that everyone is in the same boat and will be thinking the same thing: what if I don’t make friends?  Trust me, you will.  But to help you out, here’s my foolproof list of ways to make friends at uni.

1. Talk to people

Even if you’re not the most extroverted person, chatting to new people is the main way you’re going to get to know everyone.  Don’t be afraid to spark up a conversation with someone you sat next to in a lecture or are in a society with, because they could be your next best mate.  Or just someone you see around for the next 3 years.  Societies are a great way to meet people because of shared interests, so chances are you’ll get along with at least one person there!  

2. Say yes

There are a lot of parties and events going on all the time (especially in freshers) so say yes to as much as possible.  If no one sees you at anything you won't be able to get to know people properly, and even if you’re too shy to start a conversation there’ll always be someone around who will.  If you’re stuck for things to do, NUSU post current activities on their Instagram and there’s always a mix of things: from dog cafe visits and beach days, to quiz nights and sports games.  Sign up for as much as possible!

3. Invite people to things

Be the organiser!  Host a flat party and ask your flat mates to bring their friends and invite the neighbours too - you’ll end up meeting people from so many different courses and accommodations without trying too hard.  If you’d rather not organise something, invite a flatmate or a society friend to another event you’ve seen.  Everyone is so open to meeting new faces in freshers (and first year in general), so take advantage of that.

4. Don’t have your headphones in 24/7

Despite being one of the biggest music-lovers out there, I advise against having your headphones in all the time…especially in your first year.  It automatically makes you unapproachable when you’re wearing headphones and people will be less likely to start up a conversation with you, so leave them in your bag more than you usually would.  Be friendly and open to conversation with your face and body language, and try to be as approachable as possible!

5. Compliment someone

This is possibly one of the best ways to start a conversation because it’s an easy talking point. You’re saying something nice and everyone likes to be flattered!  There are also so many things you can compliment someone on: their hair, their style, items of clothing, jewellery… literally anything.  People react well to compliments 9.9 times out of 10, so it’s pretty much a foolproof way to start a conversation and hopefully a friendship.

6. Social media

Add people on social media and make group chats!  Make sure you’re in a group chat with your flat mates and course mates, and add new people you’ve met on social media too.  Even if a few months down the line you have to un-add a bunch of strangers that you added on Snapchat when you were drunk in Soho, it’s still worth asking people and making some sort of connection.

Remember that everyone is there to make new friends and have a good time, so don’t be scared to put yourself out there.