Why do we feel this urge? Well, living in the age of social media and digital connectivity, it’s only natural to attempt to mitigate the stress of forming entirely new friendship groups in person by essentially previewing the potential connections out there online.
...making friends could maybe be as easy as exchanging a handful of DMs....
If you’re something of a perpetual planner like me, finding just a couple of people through social media who were studying my degree provided a hefty amount of reassurance. Not only that making friends could maybe be as easy as exchanging a handful of DMs, but also that I wasn’t alone in my doubts and nerves around starting university.
However, whilst sending a follow request or DM is rapid by nature, lasting relationships are not formed instantaneously - it takes time to build truly close friendships at university, with many more people than those initially found through social media.
In actuality, the most meaningful friendships and connections I have formed at university were not just built on social media exchanges. Instead, they were built through spending quality time with fellow students and course mates, from trips to cafes and pubs to attending socials and embarking on outings that pushed me out of my comfort zone.
That is not to disparage social media as both a form of prompting and enhancing connectivity, both in the run-up-to and at university. The simple act of exchanging social media handles and enabling a text conversation to take place provides excellent opportunities to extend an olive branch to arrange outings and trips which can sometimes feel too daunting to initiate in person.
...it is entirely natural for in-person connections to not be formed as rapidly as we sometimes wish.
It is only when we begin to use social media as the metric by which we judge our friendships, from their quantity to their quality, that it becomes a sure-fire way of feeding into unhealthy comparisons and discontentment. Thus, the ever-relevant notion springs to mind that social media is not always a reflection of real life, and it is entirely natural for in-person connections to not be formed as rapidly as we sometimes wish.
Social media gives us the incredible opportunity to, in theory, meet and be friends with anyone - but an over-reliance on these forms of digital communication can limit our ability to truly consolidate friendships. Stepping outside our comfort zones and dedicating that quality time to developing in-person connections - peppered, of course, with the natural use of social media to maintain contact - is oftentimes the best way of striking the balance to creating relationships which last whilst living in the digital age.