A note to my past self

In the final letter of the year, Meg Howe write three short notes to three different versions of herself

Meg Howe
16th May 2021
Illustation: Hannah Buckey, via The Courier Creative Contributors
Dear 10 year old me, 

Family dynamics spilt and change, and then split and change again. And that’s ok. 

School is really important and you are so lucky that you enjoy it! You already love history, but you don’t yet know how much that subject means to you and how it’s going to shape your life. Nor do you know how much your love for writing will turn into a love of jounralism, and that you will meet so many people who have the same passions you do.

Keep reading! Actually write a book review without being lazy and only reading a few pages from the start and the end (some things never change!). 

Don’t neglect your grandparents. You’ll grow to regret it and then one day you’ll wish you could do anything to tell them about your achievements. 

But I wouldn’t change anything you’ve done. You’ve coped well and you have shaped present me in more ways than one! 

P.s. you will get a dog! 

Dear 15 year old me, 

Don’t worry, you’ll be as confident as the ‘popular’ girls! But also, you’ll grow to know that they weren’t as confident as it seemed. Everyone has their moments, and being confident is often just a persona. People only show you what they want you to see, in real life and on social media, and it's important to remember that!

While you might regret moving schools, trust me, it was the best thing for you! And despite some horrible encounters, your passion for history only grew and you found your love for digital media! 

Keep spending time with the people who are your friends. Just because you drift apart from them (many intentionally), doesn’t mean they didn’t shape who you are. They teach you what you don’t want in a friend. They teach you how to be a better friends. And they teach you what a good friend is and can be. You realise that you hate the ‘small town’ vibes, and that you need to move to the city. So trust me, all of that works out in the end.

Take a leap of faith! Be determined and stop caring what people think about you. Be yourself! If you want to do something, do it. Having validation from yourself is more important that the validation from others. Don't be afraid, because there will be some things you wished you kept doing.

Ask for help and know that that’s ok! It’s the only way you’re going to learn and improve. 

Please don’t stop singing! Make more time to practice the piano and the guitar. And be less scared of performing! 

But most importantly, have fun! I would take back any of the friendships or relationships you’ve had, because trust me, there is a lot worse coming your way - and that’s ok! 

P.s. you drop music GCSE, so don’t worry what she thinks of you. 

Dear 19 year old me, 

You aren’t going to stay friends with everyone you meet on the first day! Have a scout around and meeting different people. Ask about their lives and get to experience different cultures!

Don’t take the independence and freedom for granted, it’s going to be cut short! 

Make a name for yourself! Email staff members and discuss your ideas with them. Read more! Pick up a fiction book! 

Get into a good sleeping routine. As much as the 4am bagels are fantastic, surely they’d be better at 8am? 

Know your worth! Don’t do something because you see everyone else doing it. And don’t let people take you for granted. 

Find joy in spending time alone and go and have solo adventures! Don’t worry about being swept up in other peoples lives, you’d rather get swept up in the moment instead. 

You are ready for a relationship again, so make sure you give people their chance. 

Apologise when you upset your real friends! But know who your real friends are. Your real friends are the ones who are proud of you when you make insane achievements! 

Just because you haven’t met your people yet, doesn’t mean it isn’t going to happen. You're going to meet a group of creative and talented people, who share your hobbies and your opinions and who are just as weird as you. Weird is ok and these people are going to show that to you. 

You’ll be proud of yourself. You’ve put in hard work to be here, and you’ll be ok! 

P.s. you’ll move in with your boyfriend for your third year, who’d have thought that? 

With all my love, future Meg x 

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AUTHOR: Meg Howe
Passionate History student and Educator

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