If there’s three things everyone loves, it’s the proud and beautiful county of Yorkshire, men with deep voices, and the lingering threat of complete nuclear annihilation. Well, what if I told you that there’s an actor out there who ticks all three boxes?
That’s right ladies, gentlemen and NB folk, I’m talking about Ralph Michael Ineson. Aside from being the man sent by God as an apology for creating war and suffering, Ralph retains the unique achievement of being the only human on planet Earth who made me want to watch a show featuring Ricky Gervais. In a career spanning 30 years, the York native has played many roles, from an office clerk to a Soviet general – let’s take a look at some of them now.
Chernobyl (2019)
When I talked about atomic obliteration, I wasn’t joking! HBO’s Chernobyl sees Ineson play the role of Nikolai Tarakanov, the General in charge of the radioactive materials removal process. Chernobyl is a fantastically depressing miniseries, and Ralph’s trademark deep, rough voice fits the themes of hopelessness like a glove. The men under Tarakanov’s command have just 90 seconds to clear debris due to the deadly levels of radiation, and Ineson’s monologue briefing his scared ‘liquidators’ sets the tone for what is one of the most powerful and stress-inducing scenes of the series – “these are the most important 90 seconds of your lives”.
The Office (2001)
Ricky Gervais is, in my opinion, the worst thing to happen to the UK since the Blitz. Ralph Ineson’s character, Chris Finch, not only fulfilled my lifelong dream of calling Gervais a “fat bastard” and a “waste of space”, but got paid to do it as well. Smug comedians aside, Ineson provides a masterclass in the blunt humour that makes the office so great. The comedy, based in Slough (which as an aside is actually quite a nice place despite its reputation – it’s got a bloody good train station) was arguably the 54-year-old’s first ‘big’ role in British television, yet he took to it with all the confidence and character of a veteran actor.
The Jetty (2024)
ACAB is a phrase that has become increasingly popular in left-wing and student circles, but thankfully does not include Detective Inspector Morgan, the character portrayed by Ralph Ineson in 2024’s BBC crime drama The Jetty. His gruff tone fits the role perfectly, giving Liam Neeson’s “I will find you” in Taken (2008) a run for its money when seeking the show’s murderer. While Ineson’s performance still isn’t enough for me to consider paying the BBC my licence fee, I continue to enjoy The Jetty from the safety and comfort of my dad’s sofa.
