A 2021 survey by the Kinsey Institute revealed that Gen Z is reportedly having less sex than any previous generation. This phenomenon, now coined the 'sex recession' has been attributed to several factors, including the rise of pornography, the influence of digital culture, and a growing trend that aligns abstinence with self-worth. Could modern society, in its hyper-rationalization of relationships, have inadvertently killed romance? The increasing popularity of concepts such as 'high-value partners' (where individuals are encouraged to assess relationships solely based on mutualistic benefits) suggests that the notion of romance may be more transactional than ever.
From an anthropological perspective, marriage in the UK has long been a transaction. It wasn't until the last century, when the 1926 Property Act was passed, that women could legally possess and dispose of property on the same terms as men. Prior to this, a woman's social standing and financial assets were indicative of her relationship status. While women today have greater autonomy, financial stability still plays a significant role in modern relationships.
The current economic climate further exacerbates this transactional nature. The cost-of-living crisis, soaring property prices, and rising rent; especially in cities like London and Amsterdam, have made it nearly impossible for many individuals to purchase homes alone. In the Netherlands, for instance, cohabitation remains the most financially viable option. Relationships are increasingly shaped by economic necessity, making financial compatibility a crucial factor in romantic partnerships.
Pop culture and media reinforce this idea. Lyrics from artists such as 21 Savage and The Weeknd depict relationships where women exchange accessibility, for fame and 'financial favours', framing romance as an economic negotiation. This reflects a broader societal narrative where financial status, identity, and power dynamics dictate modern dating expectations. The dating world often feels like a carefully strategized game, with books such as 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man' by Steve Harvey, promoting an almost tactical approach to relationships, emphasizing almost impossible rules, rather than organic emotional connections.
Trending phrases like 'bring back yearning' idealize past societal constructs of love, despite the constraints they often placed on women. The infamous ‘taxicab theory’ from Sex and the City, which suggests that men settle down when they feel financially and emotionally ready, regardless of who they are dating, further illustrates the deeply ingrained transactional nature of romance.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4, it is stated: “If I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.” Religious and historical traditions have long positioned love as integral to a fulfilled life, yet modern relationships often seem to contradict this ideal. Despite the evolution of women’s rights and increased financial independence, the expectation that relationships must provide some form of tangible return, whether financial, social or sexual, seems to persist.