Having literally just recovered from a disaster of a situationship myself, I think I can say with confidence – I wish I was born 40 years ago.
Realistically, I know dating at any point in time comes with its own set of challenges, but I think our generation has chosen to make life harder for ourselves.
Enter the term ‘Situationships’. A romantic relationship that lacks clear labels, commitment or defined expectations. Couples in a situationship might go on dates and spend time together without a clear direction of where they’re heading - otherwise known as the tenth circle of hell.
Our commitment-phobic generation has created the perfect term so that they have an excuse to gain all the benefits of having a relationship, without the so-called restraints of being in one.
It seems to happen the most during the winter season, when the days are shorter, and we all crave companionship as seasonal depression hits. A situationship can be perfect if you’re both aware of the direction its heading in, but it can also just be emotional torture, full of uncertainty.
Creating new terms for all stages of the dating scene makes the process seem more complicated than it should be. The ‘talking stage’ as its called, can range anywhere from a couple days to multiple months, in effect stringing people along, or keeping them on the back burner.
There’s a movement to end the talking stage quicker and make intentions known faster – and thank god for it. Too many people have been hurt by mismatched expectations and it results in a situation worse than a break up.
Ending a ‘situationship’ leaves you with a thousand what-ifs, a hundred unfinished thoughts, and a greater sense of loss than you’re left with after a breakup. I’ve spent many a night staring at the ceiling torturing myself over the ‘what could have been’ instead of being able to move on.
It’s impossible to hate them, because they really haven’t done anything wrong, but it’s equally impossible to be friends.
Situationships create an environment that breeds feelings, but without clear communication – which will, more often than not, end in heartbreak. So date, but be cautious, but also allow yourself to feel. Don’t get stuck in a situationship because you’ll find yourself in a limbo of emotional torture that you will put yourself through.
So make sure the talking stage doesn’t develop into a therapy stage by leaving situationships behind.