A recent trip to London to visit my old school friends, now long-graduated and settling into their new careers, only intensified my reflections. My mind imagines every possible version of my future, shaped by the choices I make post-graduation. After taking a gap year and a year abroad, being two years ‘behind’ in life is an added layer of pressure nobody needs.
Should I return to China? I’ve always wanted to go to South America. But all my friends are already working in London. Should I start my career now? What career do I even want?
Sylvia Plath’s fig tree analogy in The Bell Jar runs through my head multiple times a day, capturing my decision paralysis:
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked…. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose…as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet”.
In moments like this, the only person who matters is you. We live for our own paths, not for others’ expectations. Want to tackle Mount Everest after graduation? Go for it. Ready to plunge into the corporate world? Fantastic! Thinking of moving back home and working in hospitality? You’ll be saving a fortune.
And if you have no clue? You’re far from alone. Your early twenties can be a real smack in the face—for the first time in your life, you have the freedom to create the life you want. Everyone is focused on their own journey, figuring it out as they go. It may seem daunting, but it’s also a thrilling adventure into the unknown. You watch your friends begin to mould into their adult forms, the reveal of their true characters as they chase their dreams.
It’s important to remember: your twenties are not a race. There’s time to explore, to pick as many figs as you like, and relish each one. No one is asking you to have it all figured out now, and if you ask most adults they still don’t know! There is no single “right” way to live your life. So be true to yourself, take your time, and most importantly, resist the urge to compare your path to anyone else’s.