“I’d Give Up My Metro Seat for You” - the lost love language of inconveniencing yourself.

As students, we all want to make life easier. Whether that means getting the lift to the second floor of the Robinson Library or quickly grabbing the last seat on the metro ride home. We all, more often than not, just want to take the easy route. After all, who wants to make it complicated on the way to your post-sports-night 9am? But this makes it all the more important in the moments we choose to let someone else take the easy path, especially if it also functions as a detriment to yourself. 

I live in a studio flat with my long-term boyfriend this year, and we came up with a great way to split the chores. A google form, where we put who we would want to do each chore. I put his name for taking out the bins, my name for hoovering and mopping, and luckily it ended up being pretty even. But we all slip sometimes. So, I’m sitting writing this after taking out the bins. 

And I’m not necessarily mad about it. He’s currently trekking back from his job in Gosforth, likely bringing me back some of the fruit I ran out of this morning. Did I really want to make the journey from my flat to the bins down the street? No, of course not. I want to be lazy. But does he want to take the long route home that skips past Tesco? Probably not. But both of us will feel so appreciative because of it. 

Inconveniencing yourself sounds worse than it is. It all comes down to one simple question - would you make your life a little bit more tedious to see the people you surround yourself with feel joy?

Be they romantic or platonic, the relationships we build make us who we are, meaning it is so important we value them. It doesn’t matter if it’s letting someone you’ve never met sit next to you in a lecture, or if it’s heading to your friend’s place for pre-drinks when you know your house is that little bit closer, letting someone know that you care about them to the point of inconveniencing yourself strengthens bonds. University life can get lonely and making new friends in a new place is hard enough. Going out of your way lets the people around you know that they matter, and these strong relationships will mean a lot to both them and you in this crazy era of our lives. 

And, honestly, it feels a little good to make someone feel valued. That’s why I genuinely believe it can be a love language. Someone’s face can light up in the same way, whether you buy them a little gift or simply just walk a little longer to meet them instead of making them come to you. It may feel a little selfish to know you’re putting yourself in a difficult position to get something out of it, but how can that be the case when what you’re gaining isn’t financial or material, but mutual happiness?

In this stage of our lives, as students and young adults, it is far too easy to forget the power of being a little inconvenienced for the sake of others. It feels good to be a good person, and even better to see how it impacts those around you. So next time you take the metro, let the person you’re with take the seat.