Let’s divide the lecture theatre into three parts: left, centre, and right. Left and right seaters are similar and there are fewer seats compared to the centre, so let’s tackle them first.
"you manage to sign the register and you disappear without anyone noticing. People on your course probably struggle to describe you and that’s the way you like it"
The Ninja: You enter late, you leave early, like a shadowy figure of mystery. You manage to sign the register and you disappear without anyone noticing. People on your course probably struggle to describe you and that’s the way you like it. When people suddenly do, you look so calm and collected that it does not even seem like you are doing anything wrong!
The Mystery Guest: You only grace us with your presence on the first and last day of the lecture. What you do with the rest of your time is beyond any of us. You’re never seen in the library, or indeed around campus, begging the question: ‘do you even go here?’ The only time you’re ever sighted is queuing up to get into Digi, and even then it’s unclear if you’ve come alone. You come by when there are announcements about assignments. The rest of us think this module is an optional one for you or you walked into the wrong lecture theatre but you stayed anyway.
Now finally our centre goers will have the glory. To make things easier, this is listed from the bottom row to the top.
"You record everything – literally – using your mobile, incessantly taking notes both with your laptop and in writing"
The NSA: Who needs Recap, am I right? You record everything – literally – using your mobile, incessantly taking notes both with your laptop and in writing. You even take note when the lecturer takes a sip from his bottle. Your notes should be taken in as evidence if the management wants to see how their lecturers fair.
The Suck-up: We all know them, they know them. Not even going to try and come up with a special name for you because you annoy many. You make the lectures run late. Your voice has to be heard for any reason and think it’s okay to start a discussion about Freud just among you, your besties and the lecturer.
The Chatroom: This is probably the best vantage point at the LT. You pretend to be paying attention to the lecture and sometimes you are even taking notes. But from this arena, you are able to see everything. You see everything and nobody even knows that you are observing them. You can tell the politics, drama that is unravelling and happening between friends, couples. You pass remarks on anything. People shush you and the suck-ups give you a stare because you are disturbing their discussion!
"you can tell the politics, drama that is unravelling and happening between friends, couples. You pass remarks on anything"
The Present: At least you made it to class, so kudos to you for that! You had one too many drinks even though you knew you have classes tomorrow. You imagine the lecturer is basically screaming, specifically at you, because of that. Throw in the gamers, social media divas and sleepers into that mix and you have a weird group altogether. You get to escape reality for a bit in that space for a few hours.
We have all kinds of seaters in a lecture theatre. It’s almost an unsaid rule that once you have picked your seat in the first few weeks of your module, you are assigned to that seat until you graduate. Everybody just knows that automatically. By default, you are categorised into that group as well. So where do you sit? Choose wisely...