I have always wanted to move away from home for university and as stubborn as I am, I knew that no boy and no relationship would stop me from achieving my dream. So, when I simultaneously fell in love with Newcastle and my boyfriend, it was inevitable that our relationship was to be tested by long-distance. Suddenly, a ten-minute walk became a three-hour drive and our relationship did change; however, it changed for the better.
My brain loves to overthink and starting a long-distance relationship proved to be the catalyst to my continuous spiral about all the “what ifs?”. With financial concerns, negative portrayals of long-distance in the media, and deep-rooted insecurities, I was allowing my anxious thoughts and tendencies to control me. At these times, it did feel like a disaster.
"...it goes without saying that not everyone will have the same experience."
I cannot write this article without addressing the hardships you may face. So, it goes without saying that not everyone will have the same experience. Loving from afar is difficult and with a distinct lack of physical intimacy, breakdowns in communication, and maybe a few trust issues, long-distance relationships can become overwhelming. Alongside this, external pressures may emotionally distance you from one another. Missed phone calls could turn into arguments and watching couples enjoy life together at university might feel disheartening. Ultimately, there is a continuous quiet ache for their presence and your old routines.
However, after a year of loving someone long-distance, I realised that despite the disastrous moments, it can be a dream. In fact, it can sometimes feel like you have achieved “the best of both worlds”.
From lived experience, I can assure you that spending time apart does make you cherish your time together as a couple. Whether it’s exploring your new city, going on a pizza date, taking a walk on the beach or meeting your new friends and flatmates, you dedicate your undivided attention to one another, and enjoy spending time as a couple in real life rather than through a screen.
"…long-distance truly only strengthened my relationship, and it has deepened our connection."
As well as this, when you are living in Newcastle, you have your own space, where you can prioritise yourself, your friends, and investing your energy and efforts into your new life. Simultaneously, you have the support and love of your partner through daily messages, phone calls when you have a spare minute, and scheduled visits to see one another. In all honesty, long-distance truly only strengthened my relationship, and it has deepened our connection.
As a friend, a daughter, a grand-daughter, a pet-owner, and a sister of 19 years, some of the hardest long-distance relationships have been those that rarely get spoken about in the discourse. In fact, long-distance relationships take on a variety of forms, and all rely on honesty, trust and love. It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but it’s extremely rewarding.
"Moving away to university is an incredible privilege and opportunity..."
Moving away to university is an incredible privilege and opportunity; however, leaving your loved ones and watching your family quickly adapt to your absence can be heartbreaking. Yet, leaving home comforts can provide the space for relationships to blossom in a new way. By seeing your family less, you value your time together so much more when you see each other and it also means way less arguments!
It goes without saying it truly is a privilege to love someone so deeply. Everything that is meant for you will flourish with the passion, love, patience and devotion you give it.